Synopsis: Rose’s fear of speaking in front of crowds is put to the test when her aunt passes away as family tradition dictates that she must give the eulogy; Sophia enters the Daughters of Italy Cooking Contest.
Dorothy: “Rose, I take it that no member of your family was ever a returning champion on Jeopardy.”
St. Olaf Vocab
Gernuxenluken – A family tradition in which the eldest niece has to give a eulogy, but its literal translation is a herring poacher you can wear as a sun visor
Dorothy, after drinking champagne: “Didn't make me relaxed. Just makes me wanna burp. We burp and the pressure in the cabin will change and we'll fly into a mountain.”
Rose: “That would be a good example of a mishap.”
Dorothy: “Rose, do me a favor, fasten your seat belt… over your mouth!!”
Sophia: “Veal Parmesan, my luckiest dish. It saved my marriage once... Picture this. New York City, 1931. The Depression. Your father and I are newlyweds. One rainy night, we have our first fight. He says he's leaving, I say fine. He goes out the door, I start to cook. A few hours later, he comes back. He says he couldn't find a cab. We eat in silence. Halfway through, I look up. He's got tears in his eyes. He tells me, 'This meal is like our marriage.' The veal is like him, tough and stubborn. The tomato sauce is like me, hot and spicy. And the mozzarella is like our love: It stretches but it never breaks.”
Dorothy: “Ma, that's lovely, but I don't see what luck had to do with it.”
Sophia: “You were conceived that night, Dorothy.”
Sophia: “I always drink wine during cooking contests and ‘My Sister Sam.’”
Back in St. Olaf
Rose tells how she was valedictorian of her high school, even though she was fourth in her class, because she drew the biggest straw. Her graduation speech topic was “There’s a Big World Out There But You Have to Change Buses in Tyler’s Landing If You Wanna See It.” Some of the people in attendance included: Old Yohansson, Young Yohansson, Big & Little Gustav, the Stringmeyer twins, and Fat Jerry.
Dorothy (pretending that Sophia is sick): “She had a bad cannoli when she got there. Right now she is doubled over with cramps, crying out with pain and making… the most spectacular comeback since Dennis Hopper!”
Blanche: “And the plane was entirely full of bald men.”
Rose: “They were all former Mr. Cleans on their way to a reunion in the Bahamas.”
That’s What She Said
Blanche: “You think you could hold on to something else for a while?”
Take Me Out to the Ballgame, Stanley
Dorothy: “Listen. You're not the only one who's gone through this. I had a phobia too.
Blanche: “You, Dorothy? You were afraid of something? Big, old, strong, strapping thing like you?”
Dorothy: “Who am I, Joe Frazier?”
Here Rose tells of her high school graduation, in which she even managed to be valedictorian, but we’ll learn in a season four episode that Rose also says that after contracting mono she slept through the end of her senior year, graduation, and the integration of major league baseball.
Blanche: “We have had some very special times together. Like the time there was that hurricane and all the power went out for two days and we huddled together to keep warm and sang campfire songs, and told stories.”
Dorothy: “And Rose admitted that Charlie was the only man she ever slept with.”
Rose: “And you admitted Stan was the only man you ever slept with.”
Blanche: “And I admitted my shoe size was really five and a half.”
Oh Shut Up, Rose!
Dorothy: “We made a rule. No talking, it shakes the plane.”
Rose: “I just have to say one thing. If Blanche is right, and we are gonna die this afternoon, I'm glad we're together.”
Dorothy: “Yes, that's very comforting. Now, shut up.”
Rose: “They’ll think I’m an idiot!”
Sophia: “Please, they’re family; they know you’re an idiot!”
Best of B.E.D.
Blanche: “Damn. I don't have one thing in black that isn't see-through.”
Captain Lord: “If you all look out of the left side of our aircraft… it’ll tip over! Sorry, just a little small airplane pilot humor.”
Critique: This is a very solid episode, but the real highlight is when they finally get on the small plane to go to Rose's aunt's funeral. Though a good early scene involves Rose and Blanche imagining what Dorothy looks like naked. Can we discuss how great the entire plane sequence is from beginning to end? Bea Arthur is especially really strong here (“It's all right, Blanche. The captain just turned off the 'no bald men' sign.”) and everyone has pretty some really great lines. There's Candi the sassy older flight attendant and her missing bolt from “the beverage cart,” all those bald men, and the fact that Blanche literally picks up filled glasses of champagne off the floor. Also, any chance to learn just a little bit more about St. Olaf and it’s weird traditions is ok in my book. I still don’t buy that these women would even remotely be scared of their so-called fears but I digress. And don’t get me started on how they could have possibly run into a tropical storm and not checked the weather beforehand. What crappy airline wouldn't know there was a tropical storm in their flight path? A-