Synopsis: Rose is nominated for St. Olaf Woman of the Year and Dorothy and Blanche secretly fudge her biography to help her win.
This entire episode shows the crazy ways one must travel to St. Olaf, however, in the season 3 episode “Mother’s Day” we see Rose traveling to St. Olaf simply by bus. Also, previously in the episode “Charlie’s Buddy” Rose says you can’t get to St. Gustav by plane, you can only get there by toboggan.
And lastly, we learn in the Burt Reynolds episode that Butter Queen is St. Olaf’s highest honor. So which is it?
Let’s Get Political
Rose: “In St. Olaf this is the highest honor there is. Oh I never dreamed that someone as unqualified as I am would ever be nominated for anything so important.”
Dorothy: “I guess Dan Quayle really opened the floodgates.”
St. Olaf Vocab
Mount Losenbaden – a mountain, not unlike Mr. Rushmore, with four presidential losers carved into the mountainside. Not to be confused with Lake Losenbaden which is in the shape of a lake.
Take Me Out to the Ballgame, Stanley
Dorothy: “Oh why is it they schedule the charity softball game on the hottest day of the year?”
Blanche: “I know it. I'm all hot and sweaty, I'm short of breath, and I'm physically exhausted. You'd think I had a good time.”
That’s What She Said
Dorothy: “Blanche, I’m glad we’re alone, there’s something I think we should do.”
Blanche: “Dorothy I like you as a friend but I think I’ll pass.”
This marks the first appearance of Dreyfus from GG spinoff “Empty Nest.”
Blanche: “Only thing I really enjoyed was stealing second base.”
Dorothy: “When have you not enjoyed sliding under a man in uniform?”
Blanche: “Thank god you're here, this heat's driving me crazy!”
Repairman: “You're not the only one. The old lady next door is running through a sprinkler in her underwear.”
Dorothy: “There's no old lady living - MA!!”
Sophia: “I'll never forget when I went back after many, many years, everything was just as I remembered it. Garbage in the street, prostitutes in the doorways, a couple of guys hanging from their heels in the town square. No I can't go on. Got a handkerchief?”
Blanche: “Honey, why are you getting all teary? Sicily sounds just awful.”
Sophia: “That wasn't Sicily. That was my first apartment in Brooklyn.”
Sophia: “It's great bringing two idiots closer together.”
Dorothy: “I think that's the motto of the St. Olaf telephone company.”
Rose: “I just found out I’m the most boring person alive.”
Sophia: “Did something happen to Regis Philbin??”
Rose: “I don't believe it. This is incredible news! I've been nominated for St. Olaf woman of the year.”
Blanche: “Oh that's nice. Did the new TV Guide come yet?”
Sophia: “Look, Rose. God doesn't make mistakes. We were all put on this planet for a purpose. Blanche, you're here to work in a museum so that art can be appreciated by humanity. Dorothy, you're here as a substitute teacher to educate our youth. And Rose, you're here because the rhythm method was very popular in the '20s.”
Best of B.E.D.
Dorothy: “This is unbearable. It must be 110 in here.”
Blanche: “I'll tell you a very simple way to beat the heat. JustiImagine yourself in a cool place. Like a snowy, windy mountaintop in Colorado. With a ski instructor named Fritz. And a bearskin rug and a bottle of brandy and a crackling fire. My God, Dorothy, it must be 120 in here!!”
Blanche: “What's Mount Losenbaden?”
Rose: “It's kinda like Mount Rushmore, except they sculpted four losers of presidential elections in the mountainside. Let's see, there was Alf Landen, Wendell Wilkie and Adlai Stevenson and Adlai Stevenson.”
Blanche: “Why are there two Adlai Stevensons?”
Rose: “Oh Blanche, isn't it obvious? He lost twice. Oh, God, it's making sense!”
Blanche: “He is so sophisticated and charming and rich and handsome. He fairly screams Blanche! At least he will before I'm through with him.”
Critique: I’m definitely not the first one to observe this, but if it’s the hottest day of the year in Miami why the hell are they all wearing long pants and sweaters? But I digress. I absolutely love this episode and I’m certainly not alone. It has echoes of the misadventures that occurred in “Grab That Dough” as we follow the girls on their endless journey to St. Olaf. It’s a little disappointing that we never actually get to see Rose’s hometown but the journey is what really matters. Even four seasons in we're learning so much more about St. Olaf and it's residents. One of the show's biggest inconsistencies involves travel to this mysterious, crazy town. Sometimes you have to get there by toboggan, others you can take a bus. And sometimes you have to fly to St. Gustav and then take land transportation like the birds do. It's a fun, lighthearted episode that's pretty silly but shows the fantastic dynamic between all these fantastic ladies. GRADE: A-