Wednesday, March 13, 2019

Mother Load S7E6

Synopsis: Blanche dates a local newsman who is having mommy issues; Dorothy reluctantly attends a therapy session with Stan and is shocked to learn he’s trying to win her back.

Crazy Continuity
In a rare form of actual continuity, you can clearly see the monkey traffic cone in Dr. Halperin’s office which will make its appearance in an upcoming episode.

Zbornak Zingers
Blanche: [arriving home after her date] Ohhhh. Mmmmmmm. Oh, my, my, my, my, my, my, MY!!”
Dorothy: “Why do I feel the need to bathe?”

Insult Watch
Rose: “Boy, the timing of Jerry's visit works out perfectly for me. See, his birthday is in two weeks, and the office is giving him a surprise roast. So I have to come up with one or two things that I can kid him about. I can get away with it 'cause he considers me a good friend.”
Dorothy: “Well, then why not tease him about his taste in friends?”

Stan: “Dr. Halperin's working with me on something called ‘closure.’ I'm not going there to try to win you back. I'm going there to try to get over you.”
Sophia: “Go around her, it takes less time.”

Product Placement
Stan: “Dorothy, I'm seeing a psychiatrist. I've discovered that the old Stan really wasn't Stan. He was merely a Stan trying to be the Stan that everyone thought Stan should be.”
Rose: “Hey, I've been there.”
Stan: “But now, with a little bit of help, I'm becoming a new Stan.”
Sophia: “Oh, great. I'll take a People magazine and a Morning Herald.”
Dorothy: “Ma, he is not a newsstand. He's a new Stan.”
Stan: “Then you can see the change?”
Sophia: “I'm waiting for the change. That was a $5 I handed you.”

Sassy Sophia
Dorothy: “Ma, as you know, Stan's been having difficulty making it on his own. Dr. Halperin believes that you can help him in his struggle to separate from me.”
Sophia: “Sure I can. Stay away from my daughter or I'll have your legs broken.”

Back in St. Olaf
Rose: “Oh, I remember St. Olaf's most famous psychotherapists, the Freud brothers, Sigmund and Roy. You may have read their bestseller, If I Have All the Cheese I Want, Why Am I Still Unhappy?

Best of B.E.D.
Blanche: “Oh, why do these things keep happenin' to me? And why do I let them keep happenin'? I'm just tired of gettin' all dressed up, lookin' gorgeous, going out, only to lose out in the end. On the other hand, I am dressed up, and I do look gorgeous, and it is gringo night at Hernando's Hacienda. Oh, but I don't think I ought to go. I'm just so vulnerable. Does anyone know how to say vulnerable in Spanish? Oh, nevermind, I'll say it with my eyes. Adios.”

Sweet, Single-Digit-IQ Rose
Jerry: “Well, maybe I shouldn't, Blanche. I mean, t-this darn girdle is tight enough as it is.”
Dorothy: “Rose, did you catch that?”
Rose: “I sure did, my friend. ‘Darn girdle.’ The man refuses to curse.”

From Feud to Food
Dorothy: “Ma, I'm making dinner. What would you like to eat?”
Sophia: “A nice thick T-bone steak, corn on the cob, and pecan pie for dessert. Now ask me what I can chew.”
Dorothy: “I'll start soaking the cornflakes now.”

Dorothy Zbornak is My Spirit Animal
Rose: “So, how was it, Blanche?”
Blanche: “Oh, you might as well ask me to describe the glory of the Great Smoky Mountains as they rise from the mist of a Carolina dawn.”
Dorothy: “They went to a sleazy motel.”
Blanche: “Or the colors of the monarch butterfly, spreading its wings as it emerges from the miracle of the cocoon.”
Dorothy: “She got him to pay for half the room.”
Blanche: “Or the sturdy cypress reaching heavenward, tall and mighty and proud!”
Dorothy: “That one I think is pretty self-explanatory.”

The Boob Tube
Blanche: “Jerry Kennedy, the newscaster?”
Rose: “Uh-huh. He's coming over to pick up his daily planner. I took it home from work by mistake. Boy, was I embarrassed when I showed up for handball with Walter Cronkite. By the way, if you ever run into Walt, don't tell him he looks like Captain Kangaroo.”

Golden Quotes
Rose: “Girls, you will never guess who was just on the phone!”
Blanche: “The real phone Rose, or your Farmer in the Dell phone?”
Rose: “Oh, please. I haven't had a Farmer in the Dell phone since I was 50.”

Rose: “Watch this, Dorothy. He won't even know I'm fishing for info. You know, Jerry, uh, when I was a little girl, my father misplaced his daily planner, too. It was when we were on the way to the state fair. Speaking of state fairs, is it true that you're cheap??”

Rose: “Jerry, I'd like you to meet my roommate, Blanche Devereaux. And, Blanche, this is-”
Blanche: “Oh why, you don't have to tell me. From the Gulf coast to the Atlantic, from the Keys to the Okefenokee, with the 11:00 news, this is Jerry Kennedy.”
Jerry: “Well, I'm flattered.”
Sophia: “From the pit of my stomach to the porcelain of the bowl-”

Jerry’s mother: “Did you know that Gerald is afraid of clowns? Or that he can't go to the bathroom except at home?”
Dorothy: “Oh, so that's why there's that look on his face right before they get to the weather.”

Dr. Halperin: “Now, Stan, what you have to do is ask yourself, why would you want to be with a woman who so clearly doesn't wanna be around you?”
Dorothy: “Well, I think I can answer that, Doctor. There's no other kind.”

Rose: “Girls, I think I have my opening for the roast. Listen. ‘Good evening, everyone. I hope you enjoyed your Cornish game hen.’ [giggles]
Dorothy: “What What's so funny about that?”
Rose: “Oh, I didn't set it up. You see, we're serving Cornish game hen.”
Dorothy: “Oh, well, now that you've explained it. But this still doesn't say anything about Jerry.”
Rose: “I know, I know, but I've drawn a blank. I even called his brother, and they haven't spoken since Jerry was arrested for public nudity. Damn it, there is just nothing funny about that clown-fearing, mama's boy.”

Sophia: [wearing a life jacket] “Wait a minute. This isn't Splash Mountain.”
Dorothy: “Ma, we're not going to Splash Mountain. I want you to meet Dr. Halperin. He's Stan's psychiatrist.”
Dr. Halperin: “Mrs. Petrillo, I've heard a lot about you.”
Sophia: “Lies! All lies! Yes, I wanted a boy, but slowly I learned to accept her.”
Dr. Halperin: “I just meant it was nice to meet you.”
Sophia: “Oops.”

Dr. Halperin: “Sophia, without going into a lot of psychological detail, I believe Stan's clinging to Dorothy is really a suppressed longing for his mother's love. Now, my theory is that, subconsciously, he's transferred that longing to you.”
Sophia: “And if you're wrong?”
Dr. Halperin: “I owe the parking guys a round of drinks.”

Dorothy: “You know, I cannot remember when I had a sponge cake quite so m-moist.”
Jerry: “Extremely moist.”
Rose: “The moistest.”
Sophia: “I found the tea rather moist, as well… What? I can't be uncomfortable, too?”

Jerry: “Well, all these raves have put me in the mood for another slice.”
Jerry’s mother: “Gerald, do you really feel you need another slice?”
Jerry: “Oh, well, maybe you're right, Mother. The television camera does exaggerate the pounds.”
Blanche: “Oh, I don't see where a little sliver would hurt.”
Sophia: “Finally, some action.”
Jerry: “Well, Blanche, I really shouldn't.”
Blanche: “Yes, Jerry, you should.”
Jerry’s mother: “No, he shouldn't. He's watching his refined sugar intake.”
Blanche: “Yes, he should. This cake is sweetened with natural fruit juices.”
Jerry’s mother: “No, he shouldn't. His cross-country skiing machine is in the shop.”
Blanche: “Yes, he should. He gets plenty, and I mean plenty, of exercise with me.”
Sophia: “Checkmate. Hand the guy a fork.”

Sophia: “I said it before, and I'll say it again. Sluts just heal quicker.”

I realize that Sophia is in her mid-80s and she’s not always altogether “there” but how did she get all the way from the car, into the office building, through the lobby, up the elevator, into the waiting room, and finally into Dr. Halperin’s office and then realize she wasn’t on Splash Mountain? But I digress. It is a funny joke in an episode full of solid moments but overall “Mother Load” is arguably one this season’s lesser efforts. Everything with Stan and his psychiatrist is fine but it’s certainly not as funny as Blanche’s A story about dating newscaster Jerry Kennedy. The best running gag of the half hour is certainly Rose trying to find quirky things about Jerry and not realizing that only being able to go to the bathroom at home and wearing a girdle are roast-worthy oddities. The standouts include fantastic uses of the controversial word “moist” and Blanche’s “my my my my my my my” horny moaning which I’ve quoted more times that I’m comfortable admitting. Does Jerry’s mother Millicent look familiar? This is the fourth role she’s had on The GG, her most memorable is probably Candi in “Nothing to Fear But Fear Itself.” Fun Fact: for some reason season 7 is filled with episodes with people who appeared in the 80s comedy “Airplane!” - my all-time favorite movie - Peter Graves is the first of three Season 7 actors to appear on the show. GRADE: B