Synopsis:
Sophia goes to the market to buy a nectarine while the other three
girls have a lazy day sitting on their asses.
Musical Moments
Sophia's old lady
band plays a jazzy version of “When the Saints Go Marching In”
Let’s Get
Political
Dorothy: “But the
most amazing thing about Grandma was that in 1952 she decided to go
into politics. She felt it was her personal responsibility to elect
Adlai Stevenson president. Well, she didn't care for Eisenhower
because, you know, he claimed to have liberated Italy, and she said
Italy was liberated enough. Already too many people eating meat on
Friday, and wearing condoms on Saturday.”
Crazy Continuity
Blanche mentions that she was arrested in Chattanooga several times... but in "Ladies of the Evening" she says that she's never been in jail.
Crazy Continuity
Blanche mentions that she was arrested in Chattanooga several times... but in "Ladies of the Evening" she says that she's never been in jail.
Dorothy, Blanche,
and Sophia watch a TV show with theme music that sounds suspiciously
like the theme from “Grab That Dough!”
That’s What She
Said
Sophia: “I'm
having the usual as soon as the sausage guy comes.”
Lewd Ladies
Rose: “Well, that
could be fun too, if we divide into teams and grease our hands.”
Blanche: “I got
arrested for that once at a party in Chattanooga.”
From Feud to Food
Rose: “You know it's a shame. We didn't accomplish anything today.”
Dorothy: “Of course we did. We found out in a pinch fruit cocktail is not bad on a bagel.”
Zbornak Zingers
Blanche: “By the
way, did you girls know that the size of a man's ears is directly
proportionate to the size of his other bodily organs?”
Rose: “What do
you mean?”
Dorothy: “He had a
big, floppy pancreas Rose.”
Tales from the Old
South
Blanche: “Well,
it's true. Now I learned that during my sorority years when I was
dating Mr. Preston Bougainvillea. Lord, the teasing that boy put up
with.”
Rose: “Because of
his name.”
Blanche: “No,
because of his ears. He had these long, floppy ears. Kind of like a
basset hound. When he came to pick me up for our blind date I
couldn't believe it. He jumped out of the car and he ran up the walk
and bounded up onto the front porch, and I remember thinking, ‘He's
gonna trip on those ears.’ But he didn't. So there he stood before
me introducing himself and, I don't know, I was still so stunned, I
just kind of half-muttered a ‘Howdy-do’ and he said, ‘I beg
your pardon? I didn't hear you.’ Well, I don't know what came over
me, but I just blurted out, ‘Didn't hear me? I think you could pick
up Radio Free Europe with those ears!’ And you know what he did? He
laughed. Well, right then and there I started growing very fond of
Mr. Preston Bougainvillea, and over the next several months we saw
quite a lot of each other.”
Sassy Sophia
Supermarket worker:
“This nectarine is beautiful. I never saw a more perfect piece of
fruit.”
Sophia: “No? Then
try kissing my behind. It's a real peach!”
Back in St. Olaf
Rose: “I just hate
the idea of wasting time, I always have, ever since what happened to
my neighbor in St. Olaf… It was back in 1955 and we had just moved
into our first house, right next door to Pigpen Johannsen. That
wasn't his real name. That was a nickname.”
Blanche: “Pigpen?”
Rose: “No,
Johannsen. Anyway, Pigpen had just turned 80 and the town bylaws made
him leave his job teaching drivers training at the high school…
Anyway, without a job Pigpen started feeling useless, so the town
fathers thought they'd give him a new job. Putting up the "Welcome
to St. Olaf" sign out on Miller's Lane. That same year on
Founders' Day the governor was coming, and Pigpen forgot to put up
the sign. And the governor drove straight through town without ever
realizing he was in St. Olaf.”
Dorothy: “I would
have thought the glazed look on everyone's face would have tipped him
off.”
Blanche: “So the
point is Pigpen ruined Founders' Day all because he was wasting
time.”
Rose: “That's
right, and the town fathers took down his picture. It had always hung
in the St. Olaf auto shop, right next to Andy Granatelli. My mother
used to date him. You know what he has under that trench coat?”
Dorothy: “A
wrench?”
Rose: “That's what
Mother called it.”
Best of B.E.D.
Rose: “Don't you
just love waking up with rain tapping on your bedroom window?”
Blanche: “Oh
absolutely. I always throw open the window, uncork a bottle of Cold
Duck and slip into my Frederick's of Hollywood ostrich feather
nightie.”
Dorothy: “Just
because of rain tapping at your window?”
Blanche: “Oh, I
thought she said, ‘Wayne.’”
Sweet,
Single-Digit-IQ Rose
Rose:, about
Dorothy's grandmother: “Whatever happened to her?”
Dorothy: “She
colonized life on Venus. Rose, she was 94 when I was six. She died,
you idiot.”
Rose: “How did she
die?”
Dorothy: “You
know, we're not sure. One night she left in her wheelchair and she
never came back. The next day the neighborhood kids had a go-kart
with two really big back wheels.”
The Boob Tube
Esther: “You're
not feeling good?”
Sophia: “Please! I
haven't felt good since Hugh Downs left 'The Today Show.'”
Neiman Marcus
Marker: 6
Sophia: “This is
too big for NOPRL. This is all the way up to OREP.”
Supermarket manager:
“OREP?”
Sophia:
“Organization of Retired and Elderly People. Sophia Petrillo,
Executive Director and leader of the '87 march on Neiman Marcus.”
Golden Quotes
What do you wanna do
instead?
Blanche: “I know.
Let's rent an adult video, drink mimosas, and French-kiss the
pillows.”
Dorothy: “I don't
think so, Blanche.”
and
Blanche: “I once
got arrested for that in Chattanooga, too.”
Dorothy: “Blanche,
let me ask you a question. Are you allowed to go back to
Chattanooga?”
Blanche: “Are you
kidding? The sheriff still writes.”
Critique: Is it me or is Sophia kind of a dick in this episode? She's doing
lots of good things, but she makes her friend pay for her nectarine
and her jazz friend has to pay for lunch because she has high blood
pressure. But I digress. “The Days and Nights of Sophia Petrillo” is a solid episode and
is finally the episode that gives Sophia more to do than make snide
comments. And it's the other three who have nothing to do but sit
around and eat pizza and cheesecake. The episode sort of reminds me
of those vignette-like “flashback” episodes as we follow Sophia
to the market to buy a nectarine, to the boardwalk where she
apparently conducts an all-female old lady jazz band, and to the
hospital where she volunteers as a Sunshine Lady and befriends a
young buy assumed to be dying of AIDS. How Dorothy could have no clue
she's doing any of this is beyond me. And funnily enough Sophia is
never shown doing any of this ever again. At least there are some
great lines especially Blanche's constant references to her arrests
in Chattanooga. This is a solid episode, if at times a bit overly
corny, but gets extra points for the pancreas line and the drink
mimosas line. GRADE: B+