Before & After (S2E15)

Synopsis: Rose suffers from an esophageal spasm, “dies,” and quickly gets a new lease on life which causes a rift in the household, prompting her to move out.

Let’s Get Political

Sophia: “Rose, before you go, I just want to give you a little advice. Sometimes in life, you start out down one path. Suddenly, the wind changes direction, and you find yourself swimming upstream, looking for new horizons.”

Dorothy: “Ma, what the hell does that mean?”

Sophia: “Don't get smart with me. If I was a short, bald guy in a diaper spouting this gibberish, I'd be running India.”

Lewd Ladies

Blanche: “I am abhorred.”

Sophia: “We know what you are Blanche, I'm glad to finally hear you admit it.”

Blanche: “Sophia, I said abhorred.”

Sophia: “Abhorred, a slut, a tramp, it's all the same thing.”

Picture It

Sophia: “Picture this. 90 year-old twins Ralph and Nunzio are sitting on a park bench. Ralph says to Nunzio, 'Hey, whatever happened to that streaking craze?' and Nunzio says, 'What streaking craze?' and Ralph says, 'You know when everybody would take off their clothes and ran down the street.' So Nunzio says, 'Hey that sounds like fun. I think I'll do it right now.' So, 90 years old, he gets naked and goes off down the street, right past these two old ladies, Carlotta and Maria. Maria turns to Carlotta and says, 'What the hell was that??' And Carlotta says, 'I don't know, but whatever it was, it sure needs ironing.' Dorothy: “Ma, what's the point?”

Sophia: “With a story, you get a point. With an anecdote, pure entertainment.”

Zbornak Zingers

Blanche, going through gifts she bought for her and Dorothy: “This is for me. This is for me. This is for me. This was for you, but it's so cute, now it's for me. This is for you.”

Dorothy: “Edible panties. What a lovely sentiment. Thank you.”

Blanche: “You really like them?”

Dorothy: “Like 'em? I love 'em. In fact, I may have the waistband with some milk before I go to bed tonight.”

Insult Watch

Dorothy: “Oh Joanie Winston's getting married, how lovely! I wonder how she'll fix the hair on her ears?”

Tales from the Old South

Dorothy: “Blanche, you dated Tony Bennett?”

Blanche: “I did more than date him. He aye have left his heart in San Francisco, but he left his shorts on my radiator.”

Product Placement

Sophia: “I'm going to the cafeteria. My canasta club gives this hospital's JELL-O three stars.”

Sassy Sophia

Sophia: “Hi, cookie. How are you feeling?”

Rose: “Oh fine, Sophia. But I did die. I died and went to heaven.”

Sophia: “That's nice... Find out what pills they gave her and ask for a doggie bag.”

Back in St. Olaf

We learn that Rose's Uncle Johannsen died after getting hit in the mouth with a steam shovel.

Best of B.E.D.

Blanche: “I cannot believe it is Saturday night, and I, Blanche Devereaux, the most witty, stunning, criminally sensuous woman to come out of the South since Miss Tallulah Bankhead, do not have a date.” Dorothy: “So? I don't have one either.”

Blanche: “What's your point?”

Reel References

Rose: “I died. I died and went to heaven.”

Dorothy: “Rose, honey, you didn't die. You passed out. You hallucinated. Remember that New Year's Eve when you had the three margaritas? You thought you were an animated broom in 'Fantasia?'”

Golden Quotes

Sophia: “When you get my age you get pretty good at spotting the twelve warning signs of death. Number one: your children start visiting during the week. Number two: your doctor won't let you post-date a check. Number three: you can't eat cream of wheat because it's too spicy...”

Dr. Wallerstein: “Excuse me, are you the ladies who came in with Mrs Nylund? I'm Dr. Wallerstein. I've been treating her since she was brought in.”

Blanche: “Oh Dorothy, she's gonna be all right her doctor's a Jew!”

Dorothy: “Blanche, please. How is she, Dr. Jew? - Wallerstein.”

Rose: “I died and went to heaven. Well, it wasn't actually heaven proper. It was somewhere on the outskirts.” 

Blanche: “You died and went to a suburb of heaven?”

Critique: First of all, I want to know Sophia's other nine warning signs of death like right now. I also would of loved to meet Rose's new wild and crazy “beach friends.” For some reason, I always pictured a middle aged version of the vampire gang from “The Lost Boys.” Now let's all be real: I really like this episode, but it's utterly ridiculous, even by cheesy 80s sitcom standards. I never really bought for one second that Rose would have such a sharp personality change, but it makes for a fun story. Besides, a woman who begins to have wild and crazy beach friends would no longer wear sweaters with ducks on them. I also love how after moving out, Rose loses touch with her “beach friends,” like, a day later. She moves in with two stuffy bitches; why wouldn't she just move in with her new friends? In a rare occurrence on GG there is no real B story here and Rose gets the soul focus of the episode. It was fun to see Rose get to let loose a little and there are some really funny lines of dialogue. This is a completely solid episode though not to the level of great heights this season has seen before. GRADE: B+