The Audit S3E10

Synopsis: Dorothy is thrown for a loop when Stan informs her that they’ll be audited by the IRS; Rose and Blanche take a Spanish night class.

80s Flashback

Dorothy: “I can't sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I see Uncle Sam going through my purse.”

Blanche: “Still worried about the money you owe the government?”

Dorothy: “Oh, no Blanche, I'm worried about whether Michael Jackson will be able to buy the remains of the Elephant Man.”

Zbornak Zingers

Rose: “Norwegians are notoriously bad at Spanish.”

Dorothy: “I guess that’s why there are no herring tacos.”

That's What She Said

Dorothy: “And all the time, Stanley had his hand in the cookie jar.”

Lewd Ladies

Rose: “In the olden days, the Vikings would cut off your hand if they caught you stealing. They'd cut out your tongue if they caught you lying. They'd cut off your feet if they caught you trespassing.”

Sophia: “Too bad there wasn't a Viking around when Stanley knocked you up.”

Insult Watch

Dorothy: “I only have half of the 2500. And since I don't qualify for a bank loan, I'm just gonna have to sell some of my stuff.”

Sophia: “Hold it. No daughter of mine is selling her stuff. It's a sin, it's a crime, and let's face it, Dorothy, lately you can't give it away.”

Sassy Sophia

Dorothy: “Gee Rose, if I closed my eyes I’d swear I was in Ecuador.”

Sophia: “Sorry, that was me.”

Back in St. Olaf

Rose: “I've only cheated once in my life and I vowed I'd never do it again… Oh, it was the worst experience of my whole life. St. Olaf was rocked by the scandal.”

Blanche: “What'd you do, shortchange somebody down at the feed store?”

Rose: “Worse. I fed BB's to my prize lamb Harlan so he'd weigh in heavier at the county fair.”

Blanche: “Oh my God, Rose. How do you sleep at night??”

Rose: “I knew it was wrong all along, but I wanted to win first prize. And I would have, if Harlan could have held it just a little longer.”

Product Placement

Rose: “Being bilingual really gets me confused.”

Sophia: “Ziploc bags get you confused.”

Dorothy Zbornak is My Spirit Animal

Stan: “Oh my God. We're going to jail!”

Dorothy: “That's right, Stanley. And please, let me know where you and Bubba register for your china.”

Best of B.E.D.

Blanche: “Men go to night school - smart men. And nothing turns me on more than a smart man. Unless it's a stupid man with good hands.”

The Boob Tube

Rose: “Hi girls, guess what I'll be doing for three hours every Tuesday and Thursday night.”

Dorothy: “Cutting up your black pantyhose and putting on an Amos 'n Andy puppet show?”

Reel References

Stan: “I was just trying to do something to make things better for us. All our friends were moving up, and we were stuck with a one-way ticket to Palookaville. I wanted to be someone, babe. I wanted to be a contender.”

Dorothy: “Stanley, did you just rent On the Waterfront?”

Golden Quotes

Rose: “Do you know that promotion I was up for at the counseling center? Well, I found out I can't have it unless I become bilingual.”

Blanche: “Oh no, honey, don't do that. No job is worth having to date women.”

and

Sophia: “Let me tell you girls the three most important things I learned about life: Number one – hold fast to your friends. Number two- there’s no such thing as security. And three – don’t go see ‘Ishtar’. Woof.”

Critique: This episode is as entertaining as a tax audit. Ok it's not that bad… there are actually some good lines and moments. While no episode of The Golden Girls is flat out terrible (oh wait), this is definitely one of the season’s lesser efforts. The auditing storyline isn’t particularly interesting though it does give Dorothy and Stan some good moments as Bea Arthur and Herb Edelman (who was deservedly nominated for an Emmy for this episode) have tremendous chemistry together (“Shut up and put your hair on!”). Rose’s storyline about taking a Spanish class has its moments, but they’re mostly throwaways. Though her getting her verbs mixed up in the pawn shop is pretty priceless (“You've got yourself a ring muchacho!”). GRADE: B-