Monday, July 24, 2017

We’re Outta Here Part 1 & Part 2 S4E25/26

Synopsis: After neighborhood boys move a for sale sign to the girls’ front lawn, Sophia sells the house to a prospective buyer leading to the dreaded clip show.

80s Flashback
Blanche: “Yakamora decided not to buy the house.”
Rose: “What happened?”
Blanche: “Well, he went on a shopping spree and he spent all his money. He bought a department store in Fort Lauderdale and a condominium in Orlando, a baseball team in Tampa, and I think one of the Landers sisters.”

Take Me Out to the Ballgame, Stanley
Blanche: “I just love the legitimate theater. You know, I missed Mr. Lee J. Cobb in Death of a Salesman. I missed Mr. Marlon Brando in Streetcar Named Desire. Well, I was damned if I was gonna miss Mr. Dick Butkus in Pal Joey.”

That’s What She Said
Stan: “Is anybody eating that?”

Shady Pines, Ma
Sophia: “I couldn't sleep. I had a nightmare.”
Rose: “Tell me about it, Sophia. Sometimes I can interpret dreams.”
Sophia: “Blanche sold the house and I wound up back at Shady Pines.”
Rose: “Hmm. This is a tough one.”
Sophia: “Dorothy, please don't send me back.”
Dorothy: “Ma, I am not sending you back to Shady Pines.”
Sophia: “Oh my God! She found a cheaper home.”

Lewd Ladies
Rose: “What about that dance marathon? Whose butt got whopped that night?”
Blanche: “How did you know that Wally- Oh, you mean at the actual dance marathon.”

Picture It
Sophia: “Many years ago, my father had a similar problem when he was selling real estate.”
Dorothy: “I didn't know that Grandpa ever owned any real estate.”
Sophia: “He didn't. That was the problem. You see, it turned out he really didn't own the Vatican. Although he did have a very close friend who swore he was there the night Pop won the deed in a card game from Pope Ronnie the Magnificent.”
Blanche: “Sophia, you're not making any sense.”
Sophia: “Excuse me, Mrs. Kierkegaard, it's 4am.”
Dorothy: “Ma, is there a point to this?”
Sophia: “And if there wasn't, what are you gonna do? Put decorative bars on my window? Yes, there is a point. If you're gonna sell real estate, make sure you own it.”
Blanche: “Sophia, I do own this house.”
Sophia: “Oh. Is anybody else hungry?”

Zbornak Zingers
Rose: “Couldn't sleep either, Dorothy?”
Dorothy: “No, Rose.”
Rose: “Are you upset because Blanche is gonna sell the house and we can't live together?”
Dorothy: “No, I'm upset because Joe Piscopo didn't get the lead role in Rain Man.”

Insult Watch
Sophia: “Everyone around here acts likes a ham. There’s been more bad acting, bad dancing, and bad singing under this roof than a Suzanne Somers special.”

Product Placement
Blanche: “I have relatives scattered all over this country I don't get to see very much.”
Dorothy: “If it's relatives you want, you should stay right here in Miami. Howard Johnson's does less business than this house has over the years.”

Sassy Sophia
Blanche: “Sophia, honey, you can't just sell my house. Is this in dollars??”
Sophia: “No, it's in cucumber rolls. Of course it's in dollars.”

Sweet, Single-Digit-IQ Rose
Dorothy: “It's gonna be rough if we have to go our separate ways. We've all learned to depend on each other so much.”
Blanche: “Especially Rose.”
Rose: “What's that supposed to mean?”
Blanche: “Oh, honey, it just means that sometimes you tend to be a bit naive, simple, childlike.”
Sophia: “She's calling you a moron. You don't want to live with a woman like that. Tell her to sell the house.”

Reel References
Dorothy: “Ma, it's 2am. Where have you been??”
Sophia: “I stuffed pillows under the sheets so I could fool you during bed check. What is this, Stalag 17?”

I’ve been absolutely dreading this episode all season. Let’s be honest, clip shows are the worst. I am of course referring to the episodes that are so lazy they show better moments from previous, better episodes. Yes, I get it, YouTube didn’t exist back then. Neither did Hulu or DVDs. Clip shows existed in every sitcom before the internet. It’s no less lazy. And to add insult to injury this is another ENTIRE HOUR of it. I’d take a half hour with Rene and her empty nest than an hour of clips we’ve seen countless times before any day of the week (ok ok maybe not). But I digress. There is a bit of a story here and it’s certainly better than when Sophia was possibly going to move out and live with Phil. This time Sophia somewhat accidentally tries to sell the house to an Asian man who looks suspiciously like the guy who wanted to meet Rose at Benihana after class in “Yes, We Have No Havanas.” This season began with Jim Shu and ended with Mr. Yakamora. Unfortunately this won’t be the last time the season finale will be a clip show. Now, granted the clips they show are really great: how they met at the supermarket, the dance marathon, Lucy the slut, etc but I’d rather just watch those complete episodes. The Suzanne Somers insult is arguably the best (new) line. And finally… why the hell does Mr. Yakamora want this house so badly and why does Blanche insist at calling him back at four in the morning? Ugh what a crappy sendoff to a completely solid season. GRADE: C

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