80s Flashback
Blanche: “Well
this is great. We've been writing stories that have already been
written!”
Rose: “Well, if
it's any consolation, they do it all the time on Mr. Belvedere.”
Musical Moments
Sam the piano
player: “It's a world of laughter/It's a world of tears/It's a
world of hopes/And a world of fears/There's so much that we
share/That it's time we're aware/It's a small world after all”
Let’s Get
Political
Sophia: “Let me
tell you a little story. When I was a kid in Sicily, I loved
lightning bugs. I'd stand out in the field and watch them light up
the night sky. That was magical. That was spectacular. I tell you, I
saw a thousand points of light. It was a kinder, gentler America. I
turned to my wife, Barbara, and I said--
Dorothy: “Ma, what
the hell are you talking about??”
Sophia: “Oh.
Sorry, I must have lapsed into George Bush's inauguration speech.”
St. Olaf Vocab
Hans Christian
Luckenhueven – St Olaf's greatest author and writer of the classic
fairy tale “Hansel & Hansel,” not to mention the book “Tales
of Toonder the Tiger & His Friends.”
That’s What She
Said
Dorothy: “There's
one more thing I want to show you to make this terrific weekend
complete.”
Shady Pines, Ma
Dorothy: “Ma,
we're going away for the weekend, just the two of us. So pack your
bags, we're off to a cabin in the Keys.”
Sophia: “Wait a
minute, Dorothy, you pulled this one on me once before. Remember
Shady Pines Retirement Village? She told me we were going to a
resort. We pull up to this place that looks like the Bates Motel and
two goons in white coats drag me inside. And for the next year and a
half, I'm forced to make lanyards against my will.”
“Ma, you know
that's not how it was.”
“You're right.
Sometimes they forced me to make moccasins.”
Lewd Ladies
Blanche: “You know
what I'm thinking, Rose?”
Rose: “That with
your drawings and my poems, we might go into the greeting card
business together?”
Blanche: “No. I'm
thinking about a place out at the beach where the waves break so
hard, they knock the bathing suits right off the men coming out of
the water.”
Zbornak Zingers
Rose: “Why are you
both wearing black? Did you just come from a funeral?”
Sophia: “No, Rose.
We were singing backup for Johnny Cash.”
Insult Watch
Rose: “Anyway, it
made Toonder's wife miserable that her husband was best known for
being mediocre.”
Blanche: “I
understand Marilyn Quayle feels the same way.”
Product Placement
Rose: “This book
is really coming along.”
Blanche: “Yeah,
and you can chalk it all up to synergism.”
Rose: “Yeah,
synergism. What would we ever do without it? Good old synergism.”
Blanche: “You have
no idea what it means, do you?”
Rose: “Not a
clue.”
Blanche: “Synergism
is the powerful energy that is generated by two people engaged in the
same activity. Up till now, I had no idea it could occur outside a
Howard Johnson's motor lodge!”
Sassy Sophia
Sophia: “Space
Mountain, here I come.”
Dorothy: “Ma, I
told you, no scary rides.”
Sophia: “Then we'd
better find another way to get to the airport. The cabby is wearing a
turban.”
Back in St. Olaf
Rose: “Once upon a
time in the magical land of Flafluevenhaven... lived Toonder the
mediocre tiger. He was mediocre because there was nothing special
about him. He wasn't talented, he wasn't smart, he wasn't rich, he
wasn't handsome. He wasn't good at anything…. Anyway, it made
Toonder's wife miserable that her husband was best known for being
mediocre... So she asked her fairy godmother to grant Toonder the
ability to perform incredible feats of magic, and her wish was
granted. Toonder the Mediocre became Toonder the Magnificent….
Well, Toonder the tiger spent so much time performing that he didn't
have enough time to spend with his wife. Well she told him that she
missed the time they had together when he was just mediocre, so
Toonder used his magic only once more, and that was to make his
powers disappear.”
Blanche: “And they
lived happily ever after?”
Rose: “No,
actually she got bored and ran off with Wiseblat the weasel,
Toonder's old business manager. But they lived happily ever after.”
Blanche: “What
happened to Toonder??”
Dorothy: “Oh, who
cares, Blanche!! Once you hear 'happily ever after,' it's over.”
Best of B.E.D.
Blanche: “Well,
Dorothy, I live by one simple rule. Share your love with people today
'cause they may be gone tomorrow.”
Dorothy: “That's a
beautiful sentiment, Blanche.”
Blanche: “Comes
from dating a lot of traveling salesmen.”
Sweet, Single-Digit-IQ Rose
Dorothy: “Ma's 82 years old. Edith was only six years older. You
can guess what I'm thinking.”
Blanche: “You're thinking your time with Sophia may be running
short.”
Rose:
“Wow, Blanche. That's amazing. Now guess what I'm thinking.”
Reel References
Dorothy: “Ma, why
are you trying so hard to ruin my weekend?”
Sophia: “You don't
get it, do you? This weekend could've been a lot of fun, until you
decided we were gonna have quality time.”
Dorothy: “Is that
so horrible? Ma, all I wanted to do was have us finish unfinished
business and say things to each other that we never said before.”
Sophia: “Dorothy,
this isn't On Golden Pond.”
Dorothy: “I know,
Ma.”
Sophia: “And
you're not Jane Fonda.”
The Boob Tube
“Ma, you've been
in there for 20 minutes, now what are you doing?”
“Painting a fresco
on the ceiling. It's a bathroom. What do you think I'm doing? What
are you writing?”
“Oh, nothing.”
“What do you mean
nothing? What is that?”
“Well Ma, you have
such a great sense of humor. And I can never remember all the funny
things you say, so I've decided to keep a journal.”
“A Journal? Who
the hell are you? Bill Moyers?”
“That is classic.
Bill Moy-ers.”
Golden Quotes
Dorothy: “Oh, Pop
was sure a lousy photographer. Who is that?”
Sophia: “Uncle
Vittorio.”
Dorothy: “His
head's cut off. How can you tell?”
Sophia: “Because
that's exactly how he looked in the morgue after he turned state's
evidence against Benny the Blade.”
Dorothy: “I'm
sorry, Ma. I was trying to remember when was the last time I said 'I
love you.'”
Sophia: “After
lunch, when I said you had grilled cheese stuck to your chin.”
Dorothy: “So what you're saying, Ma, is that, like a lightning bug, I put you in a glass jar and, waiting for you to light up, I nearly suffocated you.”
Sophia: “Geez, Dorothy, you sure know how to beat a metaphor to death.”
Critique:
This
episode has everything. St. Olaf fairy tales, walks down memories
lane, awkward stock Disney
World footage, and even a
“Casablanca” satire. I
could also watch Sophia try to steal crap from her hotel room over
and over and over again. But I digress. I'm a huge fan of this
episode. Sure we never really get to see Disney World the way other
sitcoms of the day did. Roseanne, Full House, and Family Matters all
had episodes that took place at Disney World. You'd think since the
show took place in Florida they'd have more than just some brief
stock footage. If only to see Bea Arthur fly by in a Space Mountain
train. Anywho, this is a great episode because both story lines are
exceptionally solid. Rose and Blanche have some really great moments
with each other Blanche is typical Blanche with her “brilliant”
drawings which we never get to see. I could also listen to Blanche
say “Who's Hans Christian Luckenhueven”
a million times. Bea Arthur
and Estelle Getty, to get all Disneyfied, are simply magical here.
This episode is the epitome of their fantastic chemistry. If you
can't buy that these two people are actually mother and daughter
then, like Rose, you probably need a CATSCAN. The
current cost of a one day pass to Disney World? $124. The cost of
listening to Bea Arthur's guttural
scream on Space Mountain? Priceless. GRADE: A
This episode has everything. St. Olaf fairy tales, walks down memories lane, awkward stock Disney World footage, and even a “Casablanca” satire. I could also watch Sophia try to steal crap from her hotel room over and over and over again. But I digress. I'm a huge fan of this episode. Sure we never really get to see Disney World the way other sitcoms of the day did. Roseanne, Full House, and Family Matters all had episodes that took place at Disney World. You'd think since the show took place in Florida they'd have more than just some brief stock footage. If only to see Bea Arthur fly by in a Space Mountain train. Anywho, this is a great episode because both story lines are exceptionally solid. Rose and Blanche have some really great moments with each other Blanche is typical Blanche with her “brilliant” drawings which we never get to see. I could also listen to Blanche say “Who's Hans Christian Luckenhueven” a million times. Bea Arthur and Estelle Getty, to get all Disneyfied, are simply magical here. This episode is the epitome of their fantastic chemistry. If you can't buy that these two people are actually mother and daughter then, like Rose, you probably need a CATSCAN. The current cost of a one day pass to Disney World? $124. The cost of listening to Bea Arthur's guttural scream on Space Mountain? Priceless. GRADE: AAnyway, it made Toonder's wife miserable that her husband was best known for being mediocre. I understand Marilyn Quayle feels the same way. Read more: http://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=the-golden-girls-1985&episode=s04e16
Fun Fact: Rue McClanahan used to doodle and draw on all her Golden Girls' scripts. When she passed away, her estate sold the scripts with her doodles on them. I wish I could've gotten one!
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