Synopsis: Rose’s old
boyfriend Buzz from St. Olaf returns which strains her relationship with Miles;
Sophia moves out when Dorothy doesn’t approve of the new crowd she’s hanging
out with.
90s Flashback
Sophia: “Oh my God. Now she's with the other boyfriend. It's
like living with Cher.”
Take Me Out to the Ballgame, Stanley
Malcom [to Dorothy]: “You must be Tommy's boy. How's the team
look this year?”
That’s What She Said
Rose: “To this day, whenever I see a man drop his pants, some
little part of me wants to go whoooop!”
Blanche: “I know what you mean.”
Lewd Ladies
Dorothy: “What happened to the money I gave you last night?”
Sophia: “Let's see. Ten bucks went for cover charge, ten bucks
went for a round of drinks. And the other ten went into the G-string of a very
cute male dancer named Mr. Big.”
Blanche: “I know that guy. That's just a stage name.”
Insult Watch
Buzz: “Rose, how about some ice cream? You ladies care to
join us?”
Dorothy: “No thanks. We don't wanna spoil our dinner.”
Sophia: “Not that that outfit hasn't done a good job already.”
Tales from the Old South
Dorothy: “Rose, quite frankly, I don't get it. What is this
hold that Buzz has over you?”
Blanche: “Oh I know exactly what she's going through, Dorothy.
First love can be very powerful. I felt the same way about Hayward Boyle, the
star pitcher on our high school baseball team. An amazing athlete. That boy had
exceptional control. He was always up for extra innings. And his delivery. Oh!--”
Dorothy: “All right,
Blanche. Enough!”
Rose: “Yeah, we get it. So what was he like in bed?”
Product Placement
Rose: “I was looking for someone more exciting. That's when
Buzz came along. He was St. Olaf's heppest cat. A musician - you know the type.
He once put a whole box of Chiclets in his mouth on a dare.”
Dorothy: “Cool.”
Sassy Sophia
Dorothy: “Ma, we need to talk. I waited up for you until two
in the morning. And you still weren't home.”
Sophia: “Oh, yeah. Gertie and I and some of the girls went to
Wolfie's to pick up guys.”
Dorothy: “I called Wolfie's at 11. You weren't there.”
Sophia: “Guess who got lucky?”
Dorothy: “Oh, God!”
Back in St. Olaf
Blanche: “Rose Nylund! You were in a love triangle and never
told us!”
Rose: “Well I didn't think you'd be interested.”
Dorothy: “Oh but you were certain that we would be interested
in the story about little Yimminy, the boy who was raised by a wild moose?”
Rose: “May I remind you, Dorothy, that moose didn't just
raise little Yimminy, he put him through medical school!”
Best of B.E.D.
Blanche: “Good morning, Miles. How was the bird-watching?”
Miles: “Oh, Blanche, it was thrilling. Have you ever seen a
purple martin early in the morning?”
Blanche: “Yes, I have. Martin Gelman. Mr. ‘Watch me leapfrog
over this parking meter.’”
Sweet, Single-Digit-IQ Rose
Rose: “Charlie liked to do all the typical teenage things. When
we'd go to a drive-in movie, he'd hide me in the trunk so we only had to pay
admission for one. And after the movie he'd drive me home, let me out of the
trunk and tell me all about it.”
What, We Can’t Learn From History?
Blanche: “Oh, Dorothy, the art in this room is magnificent. I
know. I work in a museum. I'm an art expert. Ooo, look at this Renoir.”
Maria: “Actually, that's a Seurat. His signature style was
pointillism. Notice how the little dots of color seem to blend together from a
distance.”
Blanche: “Oh. Yeah.”
Maria: “You wanna see the Jackson Pollock in the john?”
Blanche: “I'd love to.”
Maria: “Come on. I gotta scrub the toilet anyway.”
The Boob Tube
Dorothy: “You went to my mother's room in the middle of the
night?”
Blanche: “Many, many times. Two or three times a week. And
she was always so kind and comforting.”
Sophia: “I don't understand. Every time I'd knock on her door
late at night, she'd say, ‘Not now.
I'm watching Bob Costas.’”
Blanche: “Sophia doesn't have a TV in her room.”
Dorothy: “I know.”
Reel References
Miles: “It's too bad. I was gonna take you to see Henry V.”
Rose: “It's just as well. I always think by the time they get
to number five, those sequels get pretty predictable…”
Dorothy: “I can't believe you told him that.”
Rose: “But it's true. Did you doubt for a minute Rocky was
gonna beat that Russian??”
Golden Quotes
Sophia: “They're the in-crowd. Look, the Senior Citizens'
Center is divided into three cliques: the hip group, the not-so-hip group, and
the broken hip group.”
Sophia: “What can I tell you? A couple of egg creams, the fluorescent lights, and a retired jeweler named Schlomo all conspired to make a night of enchantment.”
Blanche: “I never tell men about my past.”
Rose: “Why?”
Blanche: “Takes too long.”
Buzz: “Everybody in my family is named Buzz.”
Rose: “Buzz and I are going out to lunch.”
Buzz: “You're kidding? Buzz is here too??”
Rose: “Sorry, girls. This one's mine.”
Rose: “I've never done anything like this before. Tell me, is it possible to love two men at the same time?”
Blanche: “Set the scene. Have we been drinkin’?”
Buzz: “Rosie, I never should have left you 40 years ago. I can still see you standing on the platform as the train started to roll by. Remember, Rose? You were walking alongside, tears rolling down your cheeks. When the train picked up a little speed, you started to run. Suddenly you were out of sight. It was very painful for me.”
Rose: “For me too. I ran face first into the crossing signal.”
Sophia: “Ciao, auf Wiedersehen, arrivederci and sayonara.”
Rose: “Gee, she could have at least said goodbye.”
Dorothy: “Ma, he's a man. I didn't know you moved in with a man.”
Dorothy: “Ma, he's a man. I didn't know you moved in with a man.”
Sophia: “What difference does it make? He's over 100 years
old. I'm not sure he knows I'm a woman.”
Malcolm: “I think Amos and Andy are on the wireless tonight. What
do you say we stay home and laugh our asses off?”
Dorothy: “You had late-night talks with my mother?”
Rose: “All the time.”
Dorothy: “And she gave you hard candy?”
Rose: “No. I'd ask, but she was always afraid I'd choke on
it.”
Blanche: “Sophia, you're here. And you have your suitcase. Does that mean you're moving back?”
Sophia: “I don't get it. I'm gone a few days and the dumb
one's in there acting like a slut, while the slut's in here being stupid.”
ROSE JUST HAD AN AIDS SCARE DOES NO ONE REMEMBER?? But I digress. Another episode, another moron from St. Olaf. I actually really
love when people from St. Olaf show up (unless it’s one of Rose’s glaringly unmoronic,
bitchy sisters or daughters) because the insults come fast and swift. Ok let’s
get into it. I’m sure most viewers don’t really buy Rose having to choose
between Buzz and Miles. Would Rose realistically leave Miami and her roomies
for this dweeb? Just because they both have matching plaid outfits doesn’t mean
they were meant to be together (just like Blanche’s thighs of course). No one
would pick Buzz over Miles just like no one would vote for Min-ne-sota over
Harvard. Also, the writers must really be into conservation because they pretty
much recycled Sophia’s B story from the episode where Rose moves out because
she’s annoying everyone ("Before & After"). This time it’s Sophia who has fallen with a crazy
crowd of people (who we still never get to see). It’s really just an excuse for
a hilarious scene in which Sophia’s nearly 100 year old male roommate keeps
mistaking Sophia and Dorothy for men. If Malcom looks familiar it’s because he
played Sophia’s terrible magician boyfriend Seymour in “You Gotta Have Hope.” Buzz
of course has been in movies like “National Lampoon’s Vacation” and “Home Alone
2: Lost in New York.” And finally, if you need to make a chocolate egg cream
for the Schlomo in your life click here. GRADE:
B+
No comments:
Post a Comment