Synopsis: Blanche wins tickets to the premiere of Mr. Burt Reynolds's new film and a post-party but a wrinkle comes in the form of the girls being arrested for mistakenly being prostitutes.
Rose: “There's a story in the paper about the party tonight. You won't believe who's gonna be there: Dom DeLuise!”
Blanche & Dorothy: “WOW!”
Rose: “Loni Anderson!”
Blanche & Dorothy: “WOW!”
Rose: “Charles Nelson Reilly….. Charles Nelson Reilly!”
Rose says Butter Queen was her town's highest honor, but later we learn that Woman of the Year is St. Olaf's highest honor.
Let’s Get Political
The exterminator: “Your infestation profile is threefold. You have silverfish and water bugs in your drainage areas. And under the baseboard structure you have Blattaria andropolis.”
Dorothy: “Hear that, Rose? The Greek president of Greece lives under our baseboard.”
The Exterminator: “Blattaria andropolis is a cockroach.”
Rose: “Maybe he'll be voted out next election.”
That’s What She Said
Blanche: “Dorothy's a very experienced teacher, everyone who's had her said she's great.”
Rose: And I've known some real disappointment, believe me.”
Dorothy: “Rose, you're not gonna tell us that story about the exploding pig again, are you?
Rose: “I never told you a story about an exploding pig, Dorothy. It was a peg-legged pig. Our possum was the one that exploded.”
Dorothy: “Forgive me, Rose. There have been so many possum explosions lately, it's hard to keep track.”
Blanche: Oh, girls, I'm just in ecstasy. My body is tingling all over. You will never guess what just happened.”
Sophia: “We know what happened. Let us guess what part of the Middle East he's from?”
Blanche: “Oh honey nobody back home is ever gonna find out about this.”
Rose: “Oh yes they will, the St Olaf Courier Dispatch is known for its investigative reporting.”
Dorothy: “You're right. That series they did on oat fungus was an uncompromising piece of journalism.”
Sophia: “Jealousy is a very ugly thing, Dorothy. And so are you in anything backless.”
Tales from the Old South
Blanche tells the story of how she dated Mr. William “Buster” Colliers, the President of the Chamber of Commerce, but he died a couple of days later.
Blanche: “He was performing his first official function: Breaking a champagne bottle over the new tollbooth. But before he could step out of the way, he was run over by ten Shriners on minibikes who just happened to have the exact change.”
Police Officer: “All right, everybody stay right where they are. The wagons will be here momentarily to transport all of you downtown.”
Rose: “Downtown? He means jail!”
Dorothy: “Oh, really, Rose. I thought he meant Neiman Marcus.”
Sophia: “Arrested for prostitution. I can't believe it!”
Blanche: “Oh Sophia! Sophia, we're innocent.”
Sophia: “I know that, I can't believe these dumb cops would think anyone would pay money to sleep with you!”
Sweet Single-Digit-IQ Rose
John, from Kenosha: “If you ladies don't wanna party, there are plenty of younger girls who work here that'll take our money.”
Dorothy: “Girls who'll take their money. Do you know what he thinks we are?”
Dorothy: “No Rose, hookers!”
Back in St. Olaf
Rose: “Butter Queen was our town's highest honor. From the time I was born my folks groomed me for it. Singing lessons, dancing lessons, junior butter pageants. For 16 years my entire life revolved around butter. When the time came for the pageant, I was incredible. I showed poise in the evening-gown competition. I was brilliant in the oral butter quiz. They couldn't even trip me up with a trick margarine question. That evening butter was spelled R-O-S-E.”
Dorothy: “Rose, you're embarrassing yourself. Please don't go on.
Rose: “I have to. I've kept these bitter butter memories too long.”
Rose eventually reveals she lost because her churn jammed and found out later churn tampering was involved.
Best of B.E.D.
Blanche, to the hookers: “Quiet you trash!”
Blanche: “Sophia, Mr. Burt Reynolds is one of our finest living actors. Why, he should have won the Oscar for Deliverance. Not to mention Starting Over. That Academy's just jealous. I mean you put Sir Laurence Olivier in Cannonball Run, see what he can do.”
Dorothy: “Listen, you PUNK! You wanna fight with someone, you're have to fight me. But I warn you, I did time in Attica.”
Hooker: “Attica's a men's prison.”
Dorothy: “I know. I was there a year before they found out.”
Mr. Burt Reynolds: “These the roommates you told me about?”
Mr. Burt Reynolds: “Which one's the slut?”
Dorothy, Blanche, & Rose: “I AM!”
Critique: I wonder if anyone has ever taken a tally of how many times Neiman Marcus is mentioned on the show? Because I'm pretty sure, so far, the count is at about three thousand, but I digress. “Ladies of the Evening” is probably one of the most famous and popular episodes. It's easily a favorite of both hardcore fans and more casual viewers (probably because it's so well known for the cameo appearance of Mr. Burt Reynolds himself). It's a perfect example of what made the show so popular. The edginess the show mixed with an older cast of women was such a fabulous combination. And the network practically let them get away with almost anything. This episode is a barrel of laughs from beginning to end. Everything from Sophia trying to fool Rose into giving up her Burt Reynolds ticket, Blanche mistakenly flirting with a female guard, Dorothy comparing prison to the public school system, and Rose's classic Butter Queen story all conspire to make an episode worth watching over and over again. The writing here is particularly strong, with plenty of great lines and a clever plotline that remains one of the best and most flawless episodes of the entire series. GRADE: A