Monday, September 25, 2017

Great Expectations S5E14

Synopsis: Blanche is afraid of commitment after her boyfriend has a heart attack; Rose invites the girls to a positivity seminar with a bunch of grinnin' idiots called “Create Your Own Miracles.”

Take Me Out to the Ballgame, Stanley
Dorothy: “I have some incredible news!”
Sophia: “You've been traded to the Rams?”

Shady Pines, Ma
Sophia: “Everybody's smiling here. I haven't seen so many goofy smiles since the great denture swap at Shady Pines.”

Lewd Ladies
Dorothy: “Steven, nice to see you again.”
Steven: “Dorothy, it's nice to see you. Do you mind if I get something drink? I must have sweat off ten pounds today.”
Dorothy: “You played a lot of tennis?”
Steven: “Tennis.”
Blanche: “Yeah, right.”

Picture It
Blanche: “I wish I knew what to do.”
Sophia: “All right, all right. I can pick up a cue. Picture it. Sicily, 1912. A beautiful, young peasant girl with clear, olive skin meets an exciting but penniless Spanish artist. There's an instant attraction. They laugh, they sing. They slam down a few boilermakers. Shortly afterwards, he's arrested for showing her how he can hold his palette without using his hands. But I digress. He paints her portrait and they make passionate love. She spends much of the next day in the shower with a loofah sponge, scrubbing his fingerprints off her body. She sees the portrait and is insulted. It looks nothing like her. And she storms out of his life forever. That peasant girl was me and that painter was Pablo Picasso.”
Dorothy: “Ma, I have a feeling you're lying.”
Rose: “Be positive, Dorothy.”
Dorothy: “OK, I'm positive you're lying!”

Zbornak Zingers
Blanche: “I used to attract men who were young and active and virile, but now they just want to date girls in their 20s and 30s. What's a great-looking gal in her 40s to do?”
Dorothy: “Perhaps we should find one and ask her.”

Oh Shut Up, Rose!
Rose: “Dorothy, you're not very open-minded.”
Dorothy: “I am so. Now shut up.”

Insult Watch
Blanche: “Everything old and familiar has become new and exciting.”
Dorothy: “Oh. That's nice. Maybe I should look up one of my old flames.”
Sophia: “Yeah, but not Stan. The other one.”

Sassy Sophia
Blanche: “What's the point of wearing this if I've got nothing to put in it?”
Sophia: “I say the same thing every morning when I put on my bra.”

Back in St. Olaf
Rose: “Dorothy, in times like these, you have to hold onto your faith, just like Hans Gluckenflunken, St. Olaf's greatest explorer.”
Dorothy: “Rose, please, let me have a little recovery time before you start a St. Olaf story.”
Rose: “You see, Hans Gluckenflunken set out for Florida to find the Fountain of Intelligence. Unfortunately, when he got to Duluth, he took a left instead of a right and he wound up back in St. Olaf. That's how he got his nickname, Wrong Way Gluckenflunken.”
Dorothy: “Rose, how is this a story about faith?”
Rose: “Well, when he got back, it was the dead of winter. Tired and hungry and but still clinging to his belief that he would find the Fountain of Intelligence, he saw the miracle water trickling out of the ground, and he fell to his knees and tasted it. Unfortunately, it was a broken sewer main. Two days later, he died of cholera.”
Dorothy: “What is the point, Rose?”
Rose: “He was positive he had found the Fountain of Intelligence. In fact, his dying words were, 'I think I've learned something from this.'”
Blanche: “Girls, am I interrupting?”
Dorothy: “I sincerely hope so.”

Best of B.E.D.
Blanche: “Oh, Dorothy, you always give me the best advice about men. Who says wisdom comes from experience”

Sweet, Single-Digit-IQ Rose
Mary Ellen: “You're special too, and do you know why? Because you're you, and there is nobody else like you in the whole world. Do you understand that?”
Dorothy: “Only an idiot wouldn't understand that.”
Rose: “Mary Ellen, I'm completely lost. Could you run that by me again?”

Blanche: “Look. I'm trying to keep this relationship casual. If I go to that hospital, I'm in and there's no gettin' out.”
Rose: “Don't be silly. All you do is follow the orange line down the middle of the hallways. They lead right to the elevators.”

From Feud to Food
Dorothy: “Do you know that nasty butcher down at the deli?”
Rose: “The little guy with four fingers?”
Dorothy: “That's him. I don't know, but every time I order roast beef, he cheats me. I don't know how he does it. I stand there and watch as he slices a big, juicy roast beef, but when I get home, I find these crummy, little, hard pieces, you know, from the end. Anyway, today I went in with a positive attitude. I told myself, 'This man is my friend and I know he is going to give me a good cut of meat.' Look.”
Rose: “It's a miracle!”
Sophia: “Oh, great. Pilgrims are gonna be showing up to kiss Dorothy's luncheon meat.”

Reel References
Mary Ellen: “Please, stand up and introduce yourself.”
Dorothy: “I'm Dorothy Zbornak.”
Sophia: “I'm Melanie Griffith.”
Mary Ellen: “Hi, Dorothy. Hi, Melanie.”
Audience: “You're special!”
Sophia: “You're nuts.”

The Boob Tube
Blanche: “When I'm with Steven, I don't know, I get goose bumps, I feel all tingly.”
Rose: “Oh, I understand what you're talking about. I feel the same way when I hear the words, 'And filling in for Doc, Tommy Newsom.'”

Golden Quotes
Blanche: “I'm a cowgirl. Yippee-ay-oh K-Y.”
Dorothy: “Ki-yay.”

Rose: “Hi, girls. What a great day. I feel so terrific. It's like life is a giant weenie roast and I'm the biggest weenie.”
Sophia: “No argument from this corner.”

Rose: “How about you, Sophia? Remember, today is the first day of the rest of your life.”
Sophia: “Terrific. If I'm lucky I may live to be seven.”

Sophia: “Remember what your cousin Frederico used to say: 'People waste their time pondering whether a glass is half empty or half full. Me, I just drink whatever's in the glass.'”
Dorothy: “Ma, Cousin Frederico was a hopeless alcoholic who played boccie ball with an imaginary friend named Little Luigi.”

Rose: “It's not a good idea to go it alone. Did I ever tell you about my cousin Vigdor Fricken? He tried to go it alone in a three-legged race. Well, you know what happened to him?”
Dorothy: “Please! Please, Rose! I don't want to hear about your frickin' cousin.”

Hi reader! You're special! So first off, I actually wonder where exactly Blanche's gun went to? Maybe Rose started up her target practice again? But I digress. This episode is sort of just ok isn't it? I mean you've got your Blanche in cowgirl outfit which is fun. And there's the whole “You're Special!” scene with all those grinnin' idiots. But besides that there isn't much memorable stuff going on here. There are a couple other standout moments including one of my favorite Sophia stories involving her alleged affair with Pablo Picasso. I think it's one of the few stories of hers I can recite perfectly from memory. Rose's Fountain of Intelligence story is also classic. I don't know, it seems like the writers were still on winter break here. Probably holed up in a wintry ski resort in Colorado… with a ski instructor named Fritz… ah you know the rest. GRADE: B

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Mary Has a Little Lamb S5E13

Synopsis: The girls console a pregnant teenager who has allegedly been around all along, meanwhile Blanche writes love letters to a prisoner who's getting released.

80s Flashback
Sophia: “So, Mary, when's the baby due?”
Dorothy: “Ma, you're talking to a 16-year-old girl.”
Sophia: “A knocked-up 16-year-old girl.”
Dorothy: “Ma, how did you know?”
Sophia: “Because you had the same look of panic on your face when you got pregnant. Kind of like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. I thought only pregnant teenagers had that expression, until I saw Dan Quayle on TV.”

Crazy Continuity
Oh you don't recognize Mary who has allegedly been visiting the girls' house since she was little? Me neither.

Let’s Get Political
Dorothy: “What happened? Who did this to you??”
Sophia: “The Sandinistas.”
Rose: “Why would they do this?!”
Sophia: “Because I knew too much.”

Animal Alert
Blanche: “I cannot believe her father could be so mean.”
Sophia: “Not half as mean as his dog Samson. Did I ever tell you what that dog did to my friend Ida Silverman?”
Dorothy: “No. What?”
Sophia: “He ate her.Gobbled her up without a trace, support hose and all.”

Lewd Ladies
Sophia: “Listen to this.'If I were truly free, O fire of my loins. I'd take you to a paradise in the sun where we could lie naked, bronzed body against pearl body, locked together in a frenzy of love.'”
Dorothy: “Ma, who wrote that??”
Sophia: “Merrill Kellogg.”
Dorothy: “Merrill Kellogg? Who's he?”
Sophia: “Ask Blanche. It's her letter.”

Oh Shut Up, Rose!
Dorothy: “Not personal? The man said he wants to lie naked with you on a beach.”
Blanche: “Sure. And I wrote him I want to make passionate love to him in a hammock suspended between two magnolia trees - you know that couldn't possibly happen.”
Rose: “Well, maybe if you lose a few pounds.”
Blanche: “Shut up, Rose.”

Insult Watch
Blanche: “You wouldn't like Blanche anyway.”
Rose: “She's not your type.”
Blanche: “That's right. She isn't.”
Rose: “She's very cold.”
Blanche: “Frigid. Hardly likes men at all.”
Rose: “And she's ugly. Isn't she?”
Blanche: “Ugly is a pretty strong word, Rose.”
Rose: “And wrinkled. Isn't she?”
Blanche: “She is not wrinkled.”
Rose: “And fat!”
Blanche: “Stop that! You just stop that right now. She is none of those things, Rose Nylund. She is gorgeous. Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous!!”

Product Placement
Sophia: “You feel, because Mary went out and got herself pregnant, she's a slut. Well, let me tell you what a slut is. It's someone who gets knocked up in the back seat of a Studebaker at a drive-in movie. It was a Studebaker, wasn't it, Dorothy?”
Dorothy: “It was a Nash, Ma.”
Sophia: “Now, that's a slut.”

Sassy Sophia
Rose: “Well I can't believe it. It was only yesterday you were selling us cookies.”
Sophia: “Now she's giving them away.”

Back in St. Olaf
Dorothy: “Have you ever heard of a little town called St. Olaf?”
Fred: “No.”
Dorothy: “Perfect. Now, as it was told to me—and I have to admit that I wasn't listening that closely—there was this farmer named Nils Nibelung, and he had a pig named Brunhilde, and she won all the blue ribbons at all the county fairs. Well, Nils also had a daughter named Fricka, and she won red ribbons, usually as runner-up to the pig.”
Fred: “Does this story have a point?”
Dorothy: “You asked that at just the right time. Anyway, one April, Nils decided to breed Brunhilde—that's the pig, not the daughter—and he chose April because that's when pigs are at their most beautiful and desirable. Unfortunately, so was Fricka. So while Brunhilde and the pig were doing their thing, Fricka and the local pig breeder were doing theirs. God, I hope I got the names right. Anyway, when Nils heard about it, he banished Fricka from his house and his life forever.”
Fred: “So?”
Dorothy: “So after a while he lost interest in the pig's company and he ate her. And he died St. Olaf's loneliest man.”
Fred: “Is that the end of the story?”
Dorothy: “God, I hope so.”

Best of B.E.D.
Dorothy: “Where are you gonna go?”
Blanche: “I'll be staying with my friend Janet. She said I could spend the night there anytime. Or was it her husband Ed who said that?”

Sweet, Single-Digit-IQ Rose
Blanche: “I never finished reading this letter from Merrill till just now. Read that last paragraph.”
Rose: “'My sentence has been overturned on a technicality. I'm getting out on the 21st. Now, finally, we can make all our dreams come true.'”
Blanche: “Isn't that terrible??”
Rose: “Well he's written catchier stuff, but I wouldn't call it terrible.”
Blanche: “I'm not asking for a literary critique, you dweeb!”

What, We Can't Learn From History?
Blanche: “Oh, I loved high school. It seems like only yesterday; riding around with the boys in their cars, and the dances...”
Dorothy: “Don't forget the Hindenburg disaster.”

From Feud to Food
Dorothy: “Oh, Ma, I cannot believe that Merrill is a dangerous criminal. I mean, you've read his letters. They're beautiful. They're poetic, they're almost lyrical. You can be sure he's a real gentleman.”
Merrill: “I want Blanche.”
Sophia: “Break out the finger sandwiches. Mr. Astaire looks like he's hungry.”

What Do I Look Like, a Cross Dresser?
Sophia: “It's a known fact that dogs take on the personality traits of their masters.”
Dorothy: “That's ridiculous.”
Sophia: “Oh, yeah? Then why does your brother Phil's poodle like to wear that tutu and hop around on his hind legs?”
Dorothy: “Oh, come on, Ma. I mean, Phil would look pretty stupid doing that by himself.”

The Boob Tube
Dorothy: “But you're not a grown woman. Just because the plumbing's in doesn't mean the house is ready to occupy.”
Mary “I think I know what you're getting at.”
Dorothy: “Good, because I really didn't make that up myself. I heard it on 'This Old House.'”

Golden Quotes
Rose: “Now, you come into the kitchen with me, honey. I'll get you some pickles and ice cream.”
Mary: “Oh, no thanks. I don't have any strange cravings yet.”
Rose: “Strange??”

Sophia: “Oh, so Blanche's pen pal is getting out. Gee, that's gonna be rough. I bet after ten years in the jug, he's gonna be pretty short on foreplay.”

Merrill: “I'm Merrill. Are you Blanche?”
Dorothy: “No.”
Merrill: “How about you, cutie?”
Sophia: “Boy, this guy's done hard time.”

Merrill: “Call me Moose - that's my nickname.”
Sophia: “What a coincidence! That was Dorothy's nickname in elementary school. Remember, Dorothy?”
Dorothy: “No, I don't.”
Sophia: “Look, Moose-”
Dorothy & Merrill: “What?”

Rose: “I just had a thought.”
Dorothy: “Congratulations.”
Blanche “Way to go.

Blanche: “I think women ought to have babies the way God intended - strapped to a table, numb from the neck down.”

Rose: “Don't forget, Tuesday we have mime class.”
Dorothy: “Mime class??”
Rose: “The Lamaze class was all filled up.”

Let's welcome the girls to the 90s! What a somewhat uneventful way to enter the new decade, with this after school special episode. Ok ok, it's not that bad. The stuff with Merrill is actually pretty great (and utterly ridiculous). This episode, like the fan-hated Empty Nests, focuses heavily on “the character who was always there but we've never met before” aka Mary. Apparently the ladies have been practically raising a young girl from the neighborhood and now she's knocked up. I think fans generally dislike this episode because it tries to be too serious and make us care about someone we don't actually care about. So let's just pretend Mary isn't around, like the series has been doing thus far, and just talk about Blanche's B story. First off, how the writers decided to counterbalance the story of teenage pregnancy with that of a hardened criminal going after Blanche is beyond me. The poor girl is taking refuge in the ladies' home and meanwhile a convicted felon is lurking around. Of course Blanche has been writing letters to a prisoner. She loves dirty stuff like hardware stores and prisons after all. Just wait until she comes up with that “Gettin' Out of Prison Party.” While the writing in this episode sort of takes a step down, (though there are some nice memorable lines here) the actresses are in fine form as always. Their reactions are simply priceless here when Merrill finally shows up at their door. Blanche gives one of my favorite moments of hers when she realizes that the guy sitting on her couch is the prisoner she's been writing to. It's actually not a terrible half hour, just not one that's very high on fan's lists. As a final note, who else would of loved to see Merrill seduce Sophia with white wine and music? No one? Though so. GRADE: B

Monday, September 11, 2017

Have Yourself a Very Little Christmas S5E12

Synopsis: The girls volunteer at a church to feed poor people on Christmas and Stan shows up having lost all his money.

80s Flashback
Blanche: “Rose, could you use some extra help?”
Rose: “Oh we could use all the help we can get.”
Dorothy: “Then I'm going with you.”
Blanche: “Hey, count me in. Since I didn't get a gift I have to bury out in the backyard, well I'm feeling all Christmasy too.”
Dorothy: “Ma, are you coming?”
Sophia: “But I rented Scarface! Oh all right, I'll go too.”

Musical Moments
Blanche: “Rose, for the past half-hour you've been humming Jingle Bells and yelling 'Hey!' Now, why must you do that?”
Rose: “Because it's too hard to hum the 'Hey!'”

Let’s Get Political
Dorothy: “Rose, why are the Christmas cookies in the shape of American flags and Liberty Bells?”
Rose: “I couldn't find the Christmas cookie-cutters, so I used the Fourth of July cookie-cutters instead.”
Sophia: “I wonder where President Bush stands on eating the flag?”

That’s What She Said
Rose: “I hope it's all right. Dorothy said you'd like something crotchless.”

Take Me Out to the Ballgame, Stanley
Stan: “Hi. It's me, Stan. I brought you a gift.”
Dorothy: “Oh, why, thank you, Stanley. Oh, and look, there's a little card. 'Merry Christmas, Sports Illustrated subscriber.'”
Stan: “You don't have a baseball radio, do you, Dorothy?”

Lewd Ladies
Dorothy: “Oh, you could charm the pants off anybody. I have to believe that, otherwise, I was... easy.”

Zbornak Zingers
Dorothy: “Rose, I have to tell you about Christmas. It is too hot to shop, the stores are mobbed, and there are only two days left. So we've decided to draw names out of a hat. And that way, each of us only has to buy one gift.”
Rose: “But, Dorothy, I love shopping, and I love giving gifts. And besides, if we draw names out of a hat, whose names are they gonna be anyway?”
Dorothy: “The Oak Ridge Boys, Rose!”

Oh Shut Up, Rose!
Dorothy: “Go ahead, Blanche.”
Blanche: “OK. OK, I buy for... Dorothy.”
Dorothy: “Oh, yes! Yes, yes, yes!!”
Rose: “Boy, Blanche, I didn't realize you were such a big spender.”
Sophia: “Go ahead, Dorothy, you go.”
Dorothy: “OK, I buy for... Ma!”
Sophia: “Yes! Ha ha!”
Rose: “This really was a good idea. This is really fun.”
Blanche: “Oh shut up, Rose!”
Rose: “I buy for… Rose.”
Blanche: “Oh, thank you God!”

Insult Watch
Rose: “You know, I've been thinking.”
Blanche: “Oh that would explain the beads of sweat.”

Tales from the Old South
Blanche: “You know, being here reminds me of my favorite Christmas back in 1951, which I spent at the USO, making a better Christmas for our boys getting ready to leave for Korea. I gave those servicemen something even Mr. Bob Hope himself could not give them.”
Dorothy: “A rash?”
Blanche: “Doughnuts, Dorothy. Big Daddy was part-owner of a doughnut shop. Did you really think this was gonna be a story about sex? This is a beautiful Christmas story, Dorothy. Now that really hurts me.
Dorothy: “Oh I'm sorry, Blanche.”
Blanche: “Well, anyway, after the boys had their doughnuts... Actually, at this point, it does change more into a Veterans Day story.”

Product Placement
Dorothy: “When I think of Christmas, I think of Christmas in New York. The decorations in Macy's window, the show at Radio City, skaters on the ice at Mitsubishi Center.”

Sassy Sophia
Blanche: “Sophia, you were just putting me on about those eels, right?”
Sophia: “Please! In Sicily, it wouldn't be Christmas without a plate of eels. Eels and larks.”
Blanche: “Larks?? Honey, larks aren't eatin' birds, they're singin' birds.”
Sophia: “They don't sing long in Sicily.”

Back in St. Olaf
Rose: “I sure miss a traditional St. Olaf Christmas.”
Dorothy: “Uh excuse me Rose, do we have time to run out and get hit by a bus?”
Rose: “First there'd be the Christmas pageant, with the shepherds and the angels and the two wise men.”
Blanche: “There were three wise men, Rose.”
Rose: “Not in St. Olaf. Then we'd all go down to the town square and try to form a circle. And then we'd all go home and smoke kippers.”
Blanche: “Why, Rose?”
Rose “Because it's the best way to get your house to smell like kippers. And then in keeping with the spirit of Christmas, it was traditional to let all the animals sleep inside that night. And then, the next morning, the rumors would start. And they'd continue until New Year's, and we'd all make resolutions that it would never happen again. But then, the next year, all it took was a little eggnog and one wise guy saying, 'What the hell! It's Christmas!'”

Best of B.E.D.
Blanche: “I can't remember feeling this proud of myself so early in the evening.”

Sweet, Single-Digit-IQ Rose
Reverend Avery: “Well, before we open the doors, I just wanna thank you all for taking time away from your own Christmas to provide Christmas for some that are less fortunate. We promise to turn away no one, remembering how Mary and Joseph were turned away at the inn.”
Rose: “Reverend Avery, it's always puzzled me. Why didn't Mary and Joseph call ahead for reservations? Surely they must have realized how impossible it is to get a hotel room during the Christmas season.”
Reverend Avery: “I guess that's one for the theologians, Rose.”

What, We Can't Learn From History?
Stan: “Everything is getting out of East Berlin except my fire engines.”

From Feud to Food
Sophia: “I can never get used to serving turkey for Christmas dinner - it's so un-Sicilian.”
Blanche: “What did you serve?”
Sophia: “Eels.”
Blanche: “Eels??”
Dorothy: “Yeah, it's true. Eels are a traditional part of a Sicilian Christmas.”
Sophia: “Of course, after Christmas, it's eel croquettes, eel hash, eel tetrazzini.”

What Do I Look Like, a Cross Dresser?
Sophia: “Your brother Phil, God rest his brain, gives the worst presents in the world. What kind of gift is dental floss?”
Rose: “Well, it's waxed and mint-flavored.”
Sophia: “Here, go floss yourself. This stinks, after the swell gift I sent him.”
Blanche: “What was it?”
Sophia: “A catalog item.”
Blanche: “L.L. Bean?”
Sophia: “Victoria's Secret.”

Literary Intelligentsia
Sophia: “It's a nightmare. We've been visited by the yutz of Christmas past.”

Reel References
Dorothy: “I guess I just have this thing about giving gifts that are more fun than the ones my grandparents used to give me. Ma, do you remember that Christmas they gave me soap in the shape of the Seven Dwarfs?”
Blanche: “Well, now what's wrong with that?”
Dorothy: “What kid wants to play with soap? Besides, after a couple of baths they looked like seven suppositories.”

The Boob Tube
Dorothy: “Do you remember the Christmas we were so broke that you actually convinced the kids that Christmas was the 26th, and then you went out and got a Christmas tree from somebody's garbage? You trimmed it with gum wrappers and pull tabs. And then you turned on the television, and they were playing 'Jim Thorpe: All American,' and you told the kids it was 'King of Kings.'”
Stan: “And they believed it, too.”
Dorothy: “Right up to the part where Jesus had his Olympic medals taken away for playing professional baseball.”

Golden Quotes
Dorothy: “You know, Robbie wants a Batman hat. I went to six different stores. They were all sold out. I finally went to one store where they had one hat left, and another woman saw it. Oh! I cannot believe a person would push a perfect stranger out of the way, step on her hand, and give her an elbow to the forehead just for a Batman hat. But I did it anyway.”

Dorothy: “Stanley, why are you really here?”
Stan: “I am going to make all you women wealthy.”
Dorothy: “How come whenever my ship comes in, it's leaking?”

Rose: “I don't wanna spoil the surprise. But in a couple of weeks someone in this room is gonna know how to yodel!”

Rose: “Like we say in St. Olaf, Christmas without fruitcake is like St. Sigmund's Day without the headless boy!”

Blanche: “What are you gonna do?”
Dorothy: “I'm gonna go and try to make Stan feel like a whole man again.”
Rose: “Anything you need?”
Dorothy: “Yes, half a man.”

Dorothy: “You made me believe in Santa Claus again.”
Sophia: “Me, too.”
Rose: “Not me - I knew it was Stan all along.”

Stan: “I have a new idea for a great novelty. It's a decorated Easter egg with a window in it. And when you look into it, you see a beautiful Easter scene.”
Blanche: “Well that's not a new idea. Those Easter eggs have been around for years and years.”
Stan: “Yes, but this one leaves a black circle around your eye.”
Dorothy: “That practically screams Easter.”

Ah the second of two Christmas-themed GG episodes (And the last episode of the 80s). Except this time they try to shove a Very Important Message down our throats. Again. First off, why haven't they bought each other Christmas gifts yet if there are only two days until Christmas? And why exactly is it “too hot to shop?” Are they combing outdoor flea markets in 100 degree weather for presents? What is this Baghdad? Have you ever heard of air conditioning Dorothy? And if you're so goddamned hot take off that goddamned sweater! But I digress. Christmas. It's about joy. Happiness. Positivity. Love. I think I slightly prefer this Christmas episode to the season two episode (though the earlier one gets extra points for the classic Men of Blanche's Boudoir calendar scene). I like the concept of them buying gifts for each other, and how Blanche dreads getting Rose's gift. Which ends up being a crotchless blouse. Dorothy has some particularly strong moments here. She has some great, sarcastic lines that haven't been this acidic since the second or third season. There are some truly great moments at the church kitchen including one of my favorite moments being the joke about Mary and Joseph. (And who else tries to picture Dorothy running out trying to get hit by a bus?) This is also the one where Rose mentions the holiday St. Sigmund's Day. It's probably one of the most random St. Olaf holidays ever mentioned on the show. At least Hay Day makes some sort of sense. I think. Oh and lastly there's this: “When the 'great communicator' talked about his vision of a city on a hill, I wonder if it included people sleeping on gratings in the street.” Burn, Mr. Bush, burn. GRADE: A-