Friday, August 25, 2017

That Old Feeling S5E8

Synopsis: Blanche’s brother-in-law Jamie visits and she falls in love with him; Sophia secretly borrows the girls’ cars to drive.

Musical Moments

Rose: “Sophia, if you needed a ride, we'd be happy to give you lifts.”

Sophia: “You want to make me happy? Get rid of the Bobby Vinton tapes. I have enough trouble staying awake at the wheel.”

St. Olaf Vocab

Dorothy: “What a charming man.”

Rose: “And so handsome. Oh as they say in St. Olaf, va-va-va voom!”

Dorothy: “Is that where that comes from?”

Lewd Ladies

Jamie: “I never will forget back in high school in biology class when we were studying the octopus.”

Blanche: “Now, I swear I meant to say eight tentacles.”

Zbornak Zingers

Blanche: “What has become of chivalry, when men used to open doors for you, pull out your chair, tip their hat, kiss your hand, help you down out of your carriage, leave calling cards on little silver salvers?”

Dorothy: “So how far back do you want to go Blanche? I mean do you still wanna be able to vote?”

Insult Watch

Sophia: “I have a license.”

Rose: “It expired years ago.”

Sophia: “I went down and had it renewed.”

Dorothy: “Look, I absolutely forbid you to do this.”

Sophia: “Why?”

Dorothy: “Because you drive like Mr. Magoo.”

Blanche: “Why, you know, it's an old Southern tradition for the beautiful married daughter to take in her pathetic spinster sisters.”

Dorothy: “Well, when she puts it that way, it's so hard to resist.”

Tales from the Old South

Blanche: “After George and I were married, I began to realize that Jamie had this yen for me. Poor boy. Trapped in a seething cauldron of forbidden passion for his gorgeous sister-in-law. There were nights when he actually bayed at the moon. But he finally realized that I was totally committed to George, so he threw himself into a marriage that was doomed to failure. After 20 years they realized they had nothing in common. I can't wait for him to get here and see how good I look.”

Dorothy: “You know, Blanche, Jamie may not see this as a happy reunion. I mean, after all, he just lost his mother.”

Blanche: “And I just ran out of gas, but life goes on.”

Product Placement

Sophia: “It's all those foreign cars. They're unreliable.”

Dorothy: “Ma, Blanche drives a Buick.”

Sophia: “So? I'm from Sicily. To me a Buick is a foreign car.”

Rose: “God, I hate going to the supermarket.”

Dorothy: “Rose, if you'd stop playing express-line detective, people would stop yelling at you.”

Rose: “Oh, I see. So when you're standing in line reading TV Guide and you toss it on top of your ten items, I’m supposed to look the other way. I think not, Dorothy.”

Sassy Sophia

Sophia: “I had a blind date. Actually, he's just legally blind. It's Mr. Panioli. He's good-looking, he’s a lot of laughs and he can't see his own hand in front of his face. He's happy just as long as I brush my teeth.”

Back in St. Olaf

Rose: “I remember back in St. Olaf when Inga Engstran married her late husband's brother Lars, and the whole town was shocked. Of course, that could've been because at the time Inga was on trial for her late husband's dismemberment.”

Dorothy: “It was probably a factor.”

Rose: “The trial went on for months. Attorney's fees cost her an arm and a leg.”

Sophia: “Rose, get to the part where they steal the brain out of the dead body and sew it into your head.”

Rose: “ So anyway, she got a suspended sentence.”

Sophia: “They let her go??”

Rose: “No, they hanged her.”

Sophia: “I'm going to sleep. I don't know how long I've got, but I deserve better company in my final years.”

Best of B.E.D.

Blanche: “I think I'll take a stroll past that new mini mall they're building.”

Rose: “Why?”

Blanche: “Passing construction sites is good for your morale. The sound of guys in hard hats making that sucking noise through their teeth… makes me feel like a lady again.”

From Feud to Food

Dorothy: “Well, since Blanche is having dinner with Jamie, we have a very important decision to make.”

Rose: “How about pizza?”

Dorothy: “Sounds great.”

Rose: “Should we go healthy and get whole-wheat crust and low-fat cheese?”

Dorothy: “Why don't we go really high-fiber and spread ketchup on cardboard? Pizza, dammit! Get pizza.”

What, We Can’t Learn From History?

Dorothy: “Ma, why are you carrying that phone book?”

Sophia: “I can carry a book. It's a free country. Even the Statue of Liberty carries a book.”

Literary Intelligentsia

Dorothy: “If they want to make spies talk, they should force them to grade junior-high English essays. Kids today can't write the English language: ‘The characters in The Grapes of Wrath are so real that it's interesting.’”

Rose: "Weren't they?”

Golden Quotes

Rose: “You and Jamie were close?”

Blanche: “We were classmates in high school. I thought he was cute, but I could never date someone from my own class. Well, I'd been dating seniors since I was 12. I had my reputation to consider.”

Dorothy: “Shut up, Ma.”

Sophia: “In my village in Sicily we had a custom. If your mother-in-law died, you were forced to wear a hair shirt, eat dirt, and pound your head on a rock. Anything to keep you from laughing.”

Rose: “You wore red to George's funeral?”

Blanche: “George liked red. I thought I looked terrible, but the pictures came out fine.”

Blanche: “I am nervous. My heart's just pounding away.”

Dorothy: “Just take a deep breath.”

Blanche: “I always take a deep breath before I greet a man. It thrusts my breasts forward.”

Jamie: “Blanche! Honey, you always did look pretty when you held your breath.”

Jamie: “Ladies, in her all-too-infrequent letters, Blanche has spoken of you both in glowing terms. I feel real lucky to get the chance to know you personally.”

Rose: “Why, thank you kind sir.”

Dorothy: “You'll have to excuse Rose. Every time a man speaks Southern at her, she goes all… stupid.”

Blanche: “I'd hardly expect Mama Devereaux to leave me the family silver.

Jamie: “As her executor, I had to go over her will with her - the list of beneficiaries - and, well, she was pretty far gone by then, but when we got to your name, she kept repeating in this weak little voice, ‘I want her to have it. I want her to have it.’”

Blanche: “Well, I am surprised.”

Jamie: “She was talking about her disease.”

Rose: “The phone book is missing.”

Dorothy: “The car's missing, the phone book is missing. If you had a car phone, this would all come together.”

Blanche: “What's more, my female instincts tell me that Jamie feels the same way about me. Oh, it wouldn't surprise me if one day soon Mrs. Blanche Devereaux were to become Mrs. Blanche Devereaux.”

Sophia: “I'll alert the mailman.”

Dorothy: “It helps knowing each other's idiosyncrasies. I don't think Stan and I would have gotten together had I known that his entire family smells their fingers all day after they eat chicken.”


You know, for someone who doesn’t think she looks good in red Blanche certainly wears red a lot huh? I mean even her wedding dress was red. But I digress. This is a fine episode. It’s a showcase for Blanche’s character; it gives her depth but not too many particularly outstanding moments. I always welcome episodes involving her Southern kinfolk. As long as it’s not country music singing Big Daddy. The other one. Oy vey. I enjoy Sophia’s B story about her wanting to drive mostly because it’s fun to imagine what Sophia looks like trying to drive a car. The storyline goes nowhere really and is just an excuse for Dorothy and Sophia to argue and fling insults at one another, which is fine by me. It really deepens their fantastic relationship. Poor Rose really has nothing to do here except go all stupid in front of Southern gentleman Jamie. The reason Blanche thinks Jamie looks just like George is probably because they’re played by the same actor. George Grizzard will return in a later episode as Blanche’s dead husband George. And if you’re ever playing GG trivia and are asked to identify either of them, George has a mustache and Jamie does not. I wish someone had pass on that bit of street smart savvy to me. GRADE: B+

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