Monday, November 16, 2015

And Ma Makes Three S3E19

Synopsis: Sophia feels lonely so Dorothy invites her along on outings with her boyfriend, but then she begins to get too clingy; Blanche runs for fashion show chairman.

80s Flashback
Rose: “Are you still upset because your friend Bernice moved back to Chicago?”
Sophia: “No Rose, I’m upset because I can’t relate to ‘thirtysomething.’”

Musical Moments
Sophia begins singing “The Banana Boat Song (Day Oh)” when she thinks she’s going to the Bahamas with Dorothy and Raymond.

Let’s Get Political
Blanche, referring to the woman who won the fashion show chairman election, “She promised everyone a discount on liposuction. Two cheeks for the price of one.”
Dorothy: “That’s what swung it for Nixon in ’68.”

St. Olaf Vocab
Sonja Klingenhoffer – a popular St. Olaf comic strip

That’s What She Said
Dorothy: “Ma, how long were you listening at the door?”
Sophia: “I wasn’t listening at the door.”
Dorothy: “Oh? Then why was your face pressed against the crack?”

Picture It
Sophia: “Picture it: Sicily, 1921. A beautiful young peasant girl saves her lira and takes a trip to Paris, the city of lights, also the only place a guy can wear a cape without getting a lot of funny looks. She wanders into a restaurant and ends up sharing a table with a dashing young Frenchman. They drink, they talk, they burn a cork, and draw mustaches on each other.”
Raymond: “What?”
Sophia: “Just wanted to see if you were listening. Anyway, the next thing she knows, it's hours later, the place is empty, and the Frenchman's got his schnoz down her blouse. This begins a beautiful love affair. Kids, I was that peasant girl, and the schnoz was Charles the Mole.
Raymond: “Charles the Mole?”
Sophia: “Yeah, Charles the Mole. He was the wheel man for Louie the Ice Pick.”
Dorothy: “Ma, you said Charles de Gaulle.”
Sophia: “Yeah, right, I slept with Charles de Gaulle. I could've been the first lady of France, but I married your father instead, a man who cleans his toenails with a shrimp fork.”

Zbornak Zingers
Dorothy: “Rose, honey, I hope you don’t mind, I borrowed your golf gloves, I have a date to play this morning.”
Blanche: “With a man??”
Dorothy: “No Blanche, with a Venus flytrap.”

Lewd Ladies
Blanche: “What do you do when you and Raymond wanna, you know, make love? How do you handle it?”
Rose: “Yeah, Dorothy, how do you handle it?”
Dorothy: “Handle it? I can't even get close to it!”

Insult Watch
Dorothy: “Okay girls, which goes better, the silver chain or the pearls?”
Rose: “The chain.”
Blanche: “An amateur's mistake. Can't you see that the chain accentuates the many folds of that turkey-like neck?”
Rose: “Well that may be, but the pearls draw attention to the non-existent bosom.”

Product Placement
Sophia: “I swear on your father’s grave. Or what used to be your father’s grave. Now it’s a Wienerschnitzel.”

Sassy Sophia
Sophia: “Hey, hey give it a rest Raymond; you’re in her mouth more than her dentist.”

Back in St. Olaf
Sophia: “It's not that easy to make new friends.”
Rose: “It sure wasn't for the first Eskimo family that moved to St. Olaf. Especially after they sawed a hole and went salmon fishing in the middle of the local ice skating rink. And then there was the Halloween they gave all the kids whale blubber. And then there was the time they borrowed every ice tray in town to build an addition over their garage… Well, gradually they were able to make friends, and they ended up the most popular family in town.”
Blanche: “But only because they went out and met people. Isn't that right, Rose?”
Rose: “No. It was because in the drought of '49, their house melted and kept the town from dehydrating.”

Take Me Out to the Ballgame, Stanley
Rose: “You're dumping your own mother??”
Dorothy: “Faster than CBS dumped Jimmy the Greek.”

The Boob Tube
Rose: “You know, with all the work I put in on this campaign, I might as well run for fashion show chairman myself.”
Blanche: “Rose, you can't be fashion show chairman. Why, you thought Giorgio Armani was a puppet on Ed Sullivan.”

Reel References
Blanche: “Oh girls, I just had the most disturbing dream. I was stranded on a desert island with Tom Selleck, Ted Danson, and Steven Guttenberg. Three men and no baby...”

Golden Quotes
Dorothy: “Why don’t I just wear a sign that says Too Ugly to Live?”
Blanche: “Fine, but what are you gonna hang it from, the chain or the pearls?”
Dorothy: “Neither! I’m gonna spray paint it on my hump!!”

Critique: This remains a very solid episode with the real highlight being the insults being chucked at Dorothy throughout. That's why I sort of prefer Rose and Blanche's B-story about running for fashion show chair. Though it’s nice to see Sophia getting more of a legitimate storyline even if it has to do with her being a clingy old nuisance. As a bonus, we get two St. Olaf stories. As a side note, something that this episode brings up that I’ve always wondered is how long exactly does it take an old woman in her 80s to play a round of golf? Cue the Titanic meme “It's been 84 years...” GRADE: B+

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