Once in St. Olaf S6E2

Synopsis: While volunteering at the hospital Rose finds her biological father; Sophia has a hernia operation.

Musical Moments

Rose: “Sophia, where have you been?”

Blanche: “What are you doin' on this elevator?”

Sophia: “I'm into easy listening, how the hell should I know?”

St. Olaf Vocab

St. Olaf Fun Pack – a box filled with gum, a bar of soap, and sock puppets

Shady Pines, Ma

Dorothy: “Honey, a trip to the hospital is the best thing for you.”

Sophia: “Do you think I'm stupid? This scam has 'Shady Pines' written all over it.”

Dorothy: “Ma, be serious.”

Sophia: “Come on, we're all adults here. I see the way you've been eying my bedroom. Wouldn't a wet bar go great where the old lady is?”

Lewd Ladies

Rose: “Oh, what a day this has been. I found my father. You found your mother.”

Blanche: “And I found you can't give a sponge bath without the patient's consent.”

Zbornak Zingers

Blanche: “Sophia's practically my mother too. If we don't find her, I don't know how I'm gonna respond. But I'd like to think I'm not gonna be any less sexy.”

Dorothy: “You're just a great big pile of estrogen, aren't you?”

Tales from the Old South

Blanche: “You know Rose, I'm luckier than you 'cause I had a father, a wonderful father whom I loved dearly. But right now you have an opportunity I would give anything for, just to have ten minutes more with Big Daddy. Oh, to hear that sweet old husky voice once more; 'They're admittin' who to my country club?'”

Rose: “Aw, there's a difference, Blanche. That bigot was there for you.”

Product Placement

Blanche: “Oh, Dorothy, good God. You were cleaning out the garage and you asked Sophia to move a sofa?”

Dorothy: “Don't start with me.”

Blanche: “I mean she is 84 years old, and you're asking her to do the work of two men?”

Dorothy: “It was wicker, all right?”

Blanche: “And the La-Z-Boy?”

Sassy Sophia

Rose [filling out Sophia's forms]: “I'm OK. I can do this job without thinking. OK, name?”

Sophia: “Zulu, Queen of the Dwarf People.”

Best of B.E.D.

Blanche: “Will you wait a minute? You just walk so fast.”

Dorothy: “I am in a hurry.”

Blanche: “It's not sexy. Well, it's not. A woman should take little delicate steps as if to say, 'Yes, I may be slower than you, but maybe I'm worth waitin' for.'”

Sweet, Single-Digit-IQ Rose

Rose: “My mother, did you love her?”

Brother Martin: “Yes, very, very much. But then the abbot found out.”

Rose: “Bud Abbott?

Brother Martin: “Sure'd be nice if you got one of these right. No, Rose, the abbot.”

Dorothy: “Rose, maybe you can help. We're searching the whole hospital. We can't find my mother.”

Rose: “Maybe she's lost.”

Brother Martin: “Attagirl, Rose. You finally got one!”

From Feud to Food

Brother Martin: “I'd like your forgiveness.”

Rose: “I don't know. Lime Jell-O with pears or fresh lemon meringue pie?”

Brother Martin: “Pie.”

Rose: “We don't have any. We never did. Now we're even.”

Dorothy Zbornak is My Spirit Animal

Dorothy: “It is the middle of the night. My mother is missing. I am scared to death and I'm trying to find a doctor. You'll have to excuse me if I don't have the rolling gait of a nymphomaniac.”

Reel References

Rose: “OK, let's just fill out these forms. Your name?”

Brother Martin: “Brother Martin.”

Rose: “Occupation?”

Brother Martin: “I'm a monk.”

Rose: “Oh good. I almost wrote down 'Trekkie.'”

The Boob Tube

Brother Martin: “Excuse me, but do I know you? You look awfully familiar.”

Rose: “I get that a lot. People say I look like Wilma Flintstone. Not when she was on the air. More the way she looks today.”

Golden Quotes

Blanche: “Hi, Rose. How's it going?”

Rose [as sock puppet]: “Hi, Blanche!”

Blanche: “God, I hate morning people.”

Dorothy: “Oh honey, do we have any orange juice?”

Rose: “Sure. Would you like me to pour you a glass or have Sophia come in and bring you the refrigerator?”

Dorothy: “Enough.”

Sophia:“Pussycat, I moved that safe to the attic like you asked me to. Can I have food now?”

Bother Martin: “What do you know about your father?”

Rose: “There was a rumor that he was a clown with Ringling Brothers, but I never believed it. Just seemed too much to hope for.”

Blanche: “There's a very handsome doctor coming this way. Dorothy, listen, if he walks by, just pretend we're having a conversation and casually mention my unparalleled ability to satisfy a man.”

Dorothy: “You don't think he's read the men's room wall?”

Blanche: “Apparently not.”

Rose: “You're not going to believe it. I just met my father, my natural father.”

Blanche: “He's alive?”

Dorothy: “He's in Miami?”

Sophia: “He's an earthling?”

Rose: “Oh, here, Sophia, just sign this. I'll fill it in later. It's a standard consent form, releasing the hospital of responsibility. Like if you're missing any jewelry or they kill you.”

Sophia: “I'm not gettin' out of here alive.”

Sophia: “What brings a guy like you up here?”

Man on gurney: “A lunatic. I'm a police officer. See, I was working a political rally at the Civic Center when this madman pulls out a revolver and starts blasting away from the roof. I took a bullet pulling a baby carriage out of the line of fire. How 'bout you?”

Sophia: “Same.”

Blanche: “Have you found her?”

Dorothy: “Oh, yes Blanche. About a half-hour ago. But now I've hidden her again, so you can find her.”

Brother Martin: “Rose has told me all about you two. I know it's a little late for me to start acting like a father, but do you think you two could stop hitting my little girl with the newspaper?”

Dorothy & Blanche: “We'll try.”

Dorothy: “I never thought I'd be looking for my mother in the morgue. Oh, I can't believe, you know, the last words I said to her were, 'Shut up, Zulu!'”

Critique:

I love how Rose finally accepts that her natural father is going to be in her life and yet we never see or hear from him again. Maybe he didn't want grandchildren or great-grandchildren after all. Or maybe he got food poising from the halibut like in “Airplane!” and died. But I digress. So how dark is Dorothy's fantasy parents story? She wanted Amelia Earhart to be her mother so THAT SHE COULD GO MISSING AND SHE COULD BE ALL ALONE WITH HER DAD ERROL FLYNN. I digress again. Anyways, this is a decent episode. I do enjoy it because it's filled with many classic lines. It introduced the world to Zulu, Queen of the Dwarf People, a gag that they milk for all its worth. The storylines, however, leave a little to be desired. I get why the writers would want to focus on Rose's parents since it's revealed in “You Gotta Have Hope” that Rose was adopted: it's season six and there are only so many plots to cover with these four ladies. Enter veteran actor Dom Ameche (Who had quite a career resurgence after winning an Oscar for “Cocoon” a few years prior) as Brother Martin, Rose's biological father. Sure, it's a helluva coincidence that Rose's father would show up in Miami, AND be an earthling. I've always found Sophia's hernia B plot to be more entertaining even if it feels insignificant. Dorothy and Blanche running around the hospital looking for Ma is pretty silly stuff but it leads to plenty of good jokes and gags such as Sophia thinking the elevator is heaven. And for the record she's on Medicare, not Lloyd's of London. GRADE: B