Friday, June 28, 2019

Ro$e Love$ Mile$ S7E10

Synopsis: Rose becomes annoyed with Miles for being frickin’ frugal; meanwhile Blanche is left in charge of Sophia while Dorothy leaves town on a cruise.

90s Flashback
Rose: “Well, I don't know what I'm gonna do. I mean, what if he doesn't come back? What if I've lost him? What if I turn into a lonely, old spinster and never find love again?”
Blanche [reading the paper, laughing]: “Look, Garfield caught a fish.”

Crazy Continuity
Is this supposed to be the same Guido that she was married to just a few episodes ago in “That’s For Me to Know?”

Musical Moments
Blanche: “Come on, Rose. Just think about it. A delicious dinner at an elegant restaurant. At night.”
Rose: “You mean no coupons, Blanche?”
Blanche: “No coupons, Rose.”
Rose: “Chefs who don't wear pirate hats?”
Blanche: “Oh I don't think so.”
Rose: “And he'll pay for everything? I don't have to leave the tip?”
Blanche: “That's right.”
Rose [singing]: “I'm gonna cheat on Miles/I'm gonna to cheat on Miles!”

St. Olaf Vocab
Blanche: “Well, you've always known Miles was frugal.”
Rose: “He's more than frugal. He's frickin’ frugal.”
Blanche: “Why, Rose!”
Rose: “It's a Scandinavian term. Honest.”

…Until the Buffalo Pooped
Blanche: “Let's very quickly go over this checklist to see if you've packed everything you're gonna need for your fun, fun, fun in the sun. Nausea pills?”
Dorothy: “Took ‘em.”
Blanche: “Okay. Seasick skin patch?”
Dorothy: “Wearing it.”
Blanche: “Okay. Those tiny little stop-you-up tablets that I got for my visit to Mexico?”
Dorothy: “The bottle was empty.”
Sophia: “Uh-oh.”

That’s What She Said
Miles: “I ate before we came.”

Animal Alert
Dorothy: “Now look, as for instructions… Ma is to be fed twice a day. Walk her after her second meal. And don't give her anything liquid after 10.”
Sophia: “Hey, what is this? You're talking about me like I'm an animal. (sniffing Blanche) You've been with a man, haven't you?”

Shady Pines, Ma
Blanche: “You know, Sophia, finding this list was a sign. You must make things right with that man. Now, go to your room and write him a long letter. Make your words thorough, honey. Make them fearless. Don't stop till you have said everything. Take two or three days if you have to.”
Rose: “Thank you, Blanche. You're a good friend.”
Blanche: “I just wish Sophia were my mother. Then I could put her in Shady Pines.”

Lewd Ladies
Blanche: “Have a wonderful time. And listen, don't forget to moan. Helps keep a man focused.”
Dorothy: “Oh God...”
Blanche: “Just like that.”

Picture It
Blanche [reading Sophia’s list]: “Three, ‘Make amends with Guido Spirelli. Who's Guido Spirelli?”
Sophia: “Guido Spirelli was my first husband in Sicily. It was an arranged marriage I had annulled. I left him a broken man. And I vowed one day I would make amends.”

Zbornak Zingers
Dorothy: “Now listen, honey, while I'm gone, I'm putting you in charge of Ma.”
Blanche: “Me?? Why, why me and not Rose?”
Dorothy: “Rose couldn't keep our rock garden alive.”

Product Placement
Rose: “You mean I can have another Diet Coke?”
Guy from Texas: “Of course you can, darlin'.”

Sassy Sophia
Blanche: “Sophia? Sophia? Are you all right?”
Sophia: “I'm okay. I'm okay. But that antique chest of Dorothy's? She's not gonna like what you let me do to it.”
Blanche: “You just listen to what I'm tellin' you. You live under my roof, you live under my rules.”
Sophia: “Ah, live under this.”

Best of B.E.D.
Rose: “It's Miles. Lately he's gotten I don't know, really tight, and I hate it.
Blanche: “Oh? Well, I'm just the opposite. I love a tight man. Tight man with cast-iron pecs, thighs that could choke a bear, butt you could eat breakfast off of. Then the two of us would- Rose, when did you get in?”
Rose: “Blanche, I've been here the whole time. I was telling you about Miles being tight.”
Blanche: “Oh I love a tight man! A tight man with cast-iron pecs, thighs-”
Rose: “No, tight with money. He's cheap!”
Blanche: “Oh, tight with money? Dump him.”

From Feud to Food
Miles: “Come on, Rose. Admit it. Wasn't it worth a trip to the bad part of town?”
Rose: “That guy almost got my purse, Miles!”
Miles: “Almost doesn't count, Rose. How about those Cajun drumsticks? Oh, I can still smell those Cajun drumsticks.”
Rose: “I'm not surprised, you put one in each pocket.”

Rose: “I didn't mean to eat behind your back.”
Miles: “I was gonna take you to a lovely restaurant tomorrow night.”
Rose: “I know. Cap'n Sam's Twilight Two-For-One Special. A nice piece of perch, your choice of potatoes or rice.”
Miles: “Oh, yeah. I see you conveniently left out the generous helping of slaw.”

Blanche: “Oh boy, there's just nothin' like startin' out the day with a big pile of eggs and cinnamon toast. Oh, damn, almost forgot. The old lady's got to eat.”

What, We Can’t Learn From History?
Sophia: “Hey, Mr. Occupato, what are you doing in there, painting the Sistine Chapel?”

Literary Intelligentsia
Miles: “You hum, Rose.”
Rose: “I hum?”
Miles: “Softly, happily, incessantly. Rose, I come over in the morning, and you hum as you're cleaning the house: [humming]
Rose: “It's free music, Miles. I'd think you'd like that.”
Miles: “God forbid we get into an elevator where there's Muzak.”
Rose: “You've made your point. I hum.”
Miles: “Boy, do you hum!”
Rose: “Listen, Scrooge!”

Golden Quotes
Dorothy: “Now, Ma, you're gonna do what Blanche tells you?”
Sophia: “Yeah.”
Dorothy: “You're not going to give her any trouble?”
Sophia: “No.”
Dorothy: “You're gonna be Blanche's little helper?”
Sophia: “Yes.”
Dorothy: “I love you.”
Sophia: “I love you, too. Goodbye, pussycat. [Dorothy leaves] Fasten your seat belt, slut puppy. This ain't gonna be no cakewalk!”

Blanche: “1920. Well, Sophia, you wrote this. ‘Things I Want To Accomplish Before I Die.’”
Sophia: “The list! The list! You've found my list! Oh, Blanche, read it to me. Those were my dreams, my goals.”
Blanche: “Number one, lose 200 pounds.”
Sophia: “Done it.”
Blanche: “Number two, never be burden to children in old age.”
Sophia: “Moving on...”

Rose: “Last time I had champagne, Miles and I crashed a bar mitzvah. By the way, Blanche, you have a large tuchus.”
Blanche: “That better mean bosom.”

Blanche: “Rose, this is terrible! What do you think Dorothy's gonna do? Remember what she was like when you lost her keys?”
Rose: “She uprooted a mighty sequoia.”
Blanche: “Of course, on the other hand, she is off on a romantic cruise, so maybe he'll fall in love with her and she'll come home happy. I'm a dead woman.”

Angelo: “Sweets for my sweet. Flowers for my flower, and cigarettes for after.”
Blanche: “Angelo, what are you doing?”
Angelo: “May I quote what you said on the phone? ‘Angelo, I need you. Come over, quick. Sophia's not here.’”
Blanche: " I--I didn't mean it that way.”
Angelo: “Are you telling me I shaved my shoulders for nothing?”
Blanche: “As much as that does sweeten the pot--”

Blanche: “Sophia is missing and you are my last hope. I've already tried calling Sicily's Department of Missing Persons. They just laughed at me.”
Angelo: “You called Missing Persons in Sicily? You got it wrong. You call them to lose somebody.”

Rose: “You know, it's kind of nice not having to holler your order into the clown's mouth. The trout amandine looks nice, doesn't it?”
Miles: “The trout? Well, I'm, I'm not sure. Uh, oh, yes, yes! Yes, it does. Good. Mmm-hmm. That chateaubriand that couple over there is eating looks even better.”
Rose: “Then, Miles, have it.”
Miles: “I couldn't. I think they're gonna finish it.”
Rose: “Your own, Miles. Order your own.”

Dorothy: “But before I tell you about my weekend, I want to hear all about yours.”
Sophia: “You're looking at it. All I did was sit. Blanche was all over me like a cheap slut.”
Rose: “I think you mean suit.”
Dorothy: “Not necessarily.”

Who else thinks the producers were testing the waters at this point to see what the show would be like without Bea Arthur? Cause this is the second episode this season in which Bea literally shows up for 3 minutes of screentime and it shows. This is a completely fine Season 7 episode: it has plenty of classic, funny lines, has some great gags, and we get to see “Sicily” for the first (and only) time. So, how many arranged marriages did Sophia have exactly? But I digress. Blanche having to “babysit” is actually a pretty funny concept as we all know how mischievous Sophia can get. Her slut puppy line is a classic moment. And then there’s the B story about Miles being frickin’ frugal. I wonder if he ever did live to be 100? I’m not so sure why Rose made a big deal about the guy almost getting her purse. She could of kneed him in his safe deposit box. Overall this episode is funny and grounded (by season 7 standards) and we get to see Sophia and Blanche riding a donkey so there’s that. And finally, does anyone else want to see Dorothy uproot a mighty sequoia like now? Fun fact: This episode also marks the first official time that the end credits contained an extra scene and not just a still image (and no the weather report end credits in the previous episode didn’t count). GRADE: B+

Friday, June 14, 2019

The Monkey Show - Part 2 S7E9

Synopsis: As the storm hits, Dorothy deals with Gloria and Stan sleeping together while Rose and Blanche bomb hosting the Save the McKinley Lighthouse telethon.

Musical Moments
Rose: “While Blanche is doing that, why don't I head over to the piano? I'd like to sing you a song that I used to sing as a child. It's an old Minnesotan farm song entitled, I Never Thought I'd Grow a Hair There:
Oom pah, pah/Oom pah, pah/Oom pah, pah/Om, what the hell is that hair?”
Blanche:Rose? We just got a pledge for $20.”
Rose: “Oh, let's go to the tote board. Drum roll. We're off to a good start. Okay, now, where was I? Oh, yes, where Hans first spots the hair. Oom pah, pah/Oom pah, pah-”
Blanche: “Rose? Rose? I just got a pledge for $50, if you will stop singin'.”
Sophia [on the phone]: “That's right. 50 bucks if she stops singing and I'll throw in another 50 if you slam the piano lid on her fingers.”

Insult Watch
Dorothy: “Mama, may I see you in the kitchen?”
Sophia: “You look mighty pretty today, pussycat.”
Dorothy: “This isn't going to work, you little stick person.”

Product Placement
Stan: “Can you believe it? The machines are all empty.”
Dorothy: “Oh, that's terrible. Would you like a Clark bar?”
Stan: “Sure.”
Dorothy: “$2.50.”
Stan: “It's nice to be able to talk again like human beings, like friends.”
Dorothy: “I said $2.50, Stan.”

Sassy Sophia
Sophia: “Look, Gloria isn't the kind of woman that does well by herself. She's the kind of woman who needs a rich man to buy her things and make her feel special.”
Dorothy: “Oh? And what kind of woman am I?”
Sophia: “The kind who should live with her mother.”

Back in St. Olaf
Rose: “Oh, I remember back in St. Olaf, during a tornado, my mother left the storm cellar to find Toto. Her constant companion and favorite cow.”
Dorothy: “Why are we nice to her?”
Rose: “The point is, when mother went out in the storm, she got quite a bump on her head. For the rest of her days, she kept trying to get that cow in the little basket on the front of her bicycle.”

Best of B.E.D.
Rose: “Hello, this is Rose Nylund. And this is Blanche Devereaux.”
Blanche: “Hi, boys.”
Rose: “And we're going to be with you for the next eight hours on the Save the McKinley Lighthouse Telethon. So, please call the number that's flashing on your screen to make your pledges.”
Blanche: “And, uh, for that handsome guy in the red corvette that I cut off on Highway 12 yesterday, you can call my personal number which is flashin' on your screen now.” [555-EASY]

Brooklyn: A Fairyland
Sophia: “It's like when they were young. Whenever Gloria took one of Dorothy's old toys, Dorothy would get interested again and want it back. I can still hear her yelling, ‘Gloria took my stick! Gloria took my stick!’”
Angelo: “Boy, we come from a poor family. But the way I see it is, you gave Stan to Gloria. But Stan is not a stick. He's not a Betsy Wetsy. He's not a rubber ball. He's a man.”
Sophia: “You are so wise.”
Angelo: “I listen to a lot of talk radio.”

Dorothy Zbornak is My Spirit Animal
Dorothy: “How could you do this? How could you do this to me?”
Stan: “Dorothy, there's a hurricane a-comin’. Fierce winds and driving rains. Who knows what's gonna happen to all of us? I felt scared and vulnerable.”
Dorothy: “Oh, Stan, you big, bald girl.”

Gloria: “Dorothy, it just happened. I know you think it's wrong, but it's not a crime, you know.”
Dorothy: “Yes, it is. Officers!”
Stan: “You brought the cops??”
Dorothy: “That's right. I came prepared. Officers, shoot these people. You heard me, I'm a tax payer. Shoot them.”
Dorothy: “Oh, come on now. You can too shoot them.”
Cop 1: “I cannot shoot them. I can only shoot looters.”
Dorothy: “Oh, I understand. Stan, pick up the TV on your way out, will you?”

The Boob Tube
Davy Cricket: “And now, I'd like to do a happy cricket. Note the difference.”
Rose: “That's great. Do you do any other insects?”
Davy Cricket: “Well, I do a grasshopper that- Nah, you can't do it on TV.”
Rose: “Oh, well, thank you. Thank you, Davey Cricket.”

Golden Quotes
Dr. Halperin: “So, kids, what's going on?”
Stan: “Well, Doc, I have some news. I sort of slept with Dorothy's sister.”
Dr. Halperin: “Hey, you're off the monkey. Mazel tov.”

Carol: “Oh my God.”
Dorothy: “What is it?”
Carol: “You're Dan and Morothy.”
Dorothy: “Wild and crazy names?”
Dr. Halperin: “Carol, this is a different Dan and Morothy.”
Carol: “You mean these aren't the two nuts who couldn't stop seeing each other? Dan, a sex-crazed nudnik with occasional performance problems, and Morothy, a domineering tyrant who totally emasculated him?”
Sophia: “No more calls. We have a winner.”

Blanche: “Well, let me tell you something, mister. It doesn't matter how many of our acts have shown up. It doesn't matter how many hours of air time we have to fill. There is only one thing that matters here. The indomitable devotion that Rose and I have in our hearts for that windmill. It's a devotion for that windmill. It's a love for that windmill. And as God as our witness, we are going to save that windmill.”
Rose: “It's a lighthouse, Blanche. We're saving the McKinley Lighthouse.”
Blanche: “That eyesore?”
Rose: “That's the one.”

Sophia: “Do you know, in some primitive societies, it's considered good manners to give your ex-husband to your sister?”
Dorothy: “In some primitive societies they leave their elderly out in a field for large birds to feed on. Where do we draw the line?”
Sophia: “Right before the large bird thing.”

Stage manager: “The telethon is over. The station manager just told me they're turning the airwaves over to the National Weather Service. This studio has been designated an official hurricane shelter.”
Blanche: “Oh, well, fine. But, uh, before I go, I would like to make one final plea. Now, I know there is goodness in your heart and I know you want to give. Well, I am ready to take anything you have to offer. Shaaaare with me.”
Stage manager: “Ma'am, we've been off the air for two minutes.”
Blanche: “I know it. I'm talking to Chester on camera two. Share with me, Chestah!”

Dorothy: “Ma? Ma, are you home? Ma, don't hide. [looking under kitchen cabinet] Ma? No, you're too smart to hide in the same place twice.”

Cop 2: “Hello, ma'am. Are you the resident here?”
Dorothy: “Oh, my God. It's my mother!!”
Cop 2: “No, ma'am, I'm a police officer.”
Cop 1: “Can I show the kid Blanche’s room while we’re waiting? Nah, let him be surprised.”

Sophia: “Angelo, you're my big brother. I can only come to you. I'm in trouble.”
Angelo: “Then the boy will marry you.”

Sophia: “I'm a terrible mother.”
Angelo: “You're a wonderful mother.”
Sophia: “No, I really upset my Dorothy. She's at a very difficult age. Just out of menopause, but the sex drive isn't totally dead yet.”
Angelo: “That is an awkward time.”
Sophia: “And Gloria, she's my baby. She hasn't even lost any of her adult teeth yet.”
Angelo: “I'd kill for a piece of corn that wasn't creamed.”

Sophia: “Oh, the entrance is blocked. We can't get out! We're gonna die!”
Angelo: “All right, don't worry. I have a plan. They taught me how to deal with emergencies in the Italian Army. HELP! HELP!”

Sophia: “Dorothy, I want to talk to you. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about the stick.”
Dorothy: “What stick?”
Sophia: “The stick. The one with the sock on it with the buttons for the eyes?”
Dorothy: “You mean Scout? You know where Scout is?”
Sophia: “Look, I'm sorry I gave the stick to your sister when you were a kid. And I'm sorry about the other thing, too.”
Dorothy: “You mean about giving Stan to Gloria?”
Sophia: “Yeah, that and the stick. I'm sorry about those two things.”

Is anyone else disturbed that Dorothy refers to the lanai as “the patio.” Bea Arthur was really checked out this season wasn’t she? Of course, no one else seemed to care either. But I digress. The second part of this two part episode (which aired as part of a Hurricane Saturday crossover night on NBC with Empty Nest and Nurses – yes there is a Golden Girls shared universe, eat your heart out Marvel) is significantly funnier than the first half. Everything at the telethon is gold. I used to watch Rose sing the “I Never Thought I’d Grow a Hair There” song over and over and over again when I was younger. The way they go to the tot board every time they get a donation is fun visual gag. How exactly Blanche was able to coordinate with the graphics guy having her “personal number” flash on the TV screen is a ridiculous but hilarious gag as well. And who could forget Davy Cricket?? Of course there’s more about the repercussions of Gloria and Stan sleeping together. Snooze. Though I do like it when the cops show up and Dorothy tells them to shoot Gloria and Stan after she finds them sleeping together again. Hurricanes just make people horny I guess. I’m surprised Blanche was able to get through the whole storm without French kissin’ the pillahs. And lastly I’d just like to leave you with the image of Sophia squished underneath the kitchen cabinets. Brilliant. Just brilliant. GRADE: B+

Wednesday, June 5, 2019

The Monkey Show - Part 1 S7E8

Synopsis: Dorothy’s sister Gloria who is newly poor comes to visit; Stan is dating a fake monkey named Fifi on doctor’s orders; Rose volunteers to help with a telethon to help save a lighthouse; meanwhile Sophia insists that a hurricane is a-comin’.

90s Flashback
“I always thought of us as the Gabors.”
“Well, I'm glad we had this little chat.”
“No, hear me out. I'm Jolie, the mother. Your sister Gloria, she's Zsa Zsa. And Eva Well, Eva was, of course, your brother, Phil.”
“I'm not a Gabor?”
“You're telling me. Listen, big news. Zsa Zsa's coming to town.”

Crazy Continuity
You can see previously see Fifi in the background of Dr. Halperin’s office in the sixth episode of this season “Mother Load.”

Musical Moments
Man auditioning: But how can you thank someone/Who's taken you from crayons to perfume?/It isn't easy, but I'll try/To Sir, with love”
Blanche: “Oh, bravo! Bravissimo! Encore! Encore! Date me!”

That’s What She Said
Dorothy: “I have a place for your monkey, Stan.”

Animal Alert
Stan: “Hi. It's me, Stan.”
Rose: “And who's that good-looking monkey with you?”
Stan: “Don't be condescending. I know it's silly, but it's doctor's orders. It's just a tool to help me get over Dorothy.”
Rose: “Can I hold him?”
Stan: “Are your hands clean?”

Zbornak Zingers
Dorothy: “Ma, even if there is a hurricane a-coming.”
Sophia: “Don't patronize me.”
Dorothy: “I'm not patronizing you. I'm a-mocking you.”

Insult Watch
Gloria: “What is it you do again, Dorothy?”
Dorothy: “I'm a substitute teacher.”
Gloria: “Oh, no, I'd be a real teacher.”
Dorothy: “I am a real teacher.”
Gloria: “Oh, look, Ma. Her ears are starting to get all red. Someone's getting maaaad!”

Best of B.E.D.
Rose: “You'd turn the telethon into a disgusting manhunt.”
Blanche: “A disgusting manhunt. What a great idea! Oh, see, we'll all get dressed in little safari outfits, and we'll have the men in cages. Then we'll let them out and they'll all run around in loincloths. And every man who gets caught will donate $50, and then we'll get to take them home with us.”

Sweet, Single-Digit-IQ Rose
Blanche: “Oh, you’re back from your session early, was it as cathartic as you thought?”
Dorothy: “Well, I don’t know if cathartic is the word.”
Rose: “You should do what I do. I find if I repeat a word that's confused me, I look smarter than I really am. Like, ‘Was it cathartic?’ ‘Oh, I've had a catharticism.’ ‘Of course, I'm not the type to kiss and cathartirize.’”

Stage manager: “Ma'am, we really do need some female acts. Uh, you might want to tell your friend not to be so capricious with her judgments.”
Rose: “Ah, yes, indeed. For, as we all know, it's the capricious person whose capriciosity is never truly caprified.”

Dorothy Zbornak is My Spirit Animal
Dorothy: “It's so hard to dress for a psychiatrist. You wear black, they think you're depressed.
You wear red, they think you're angry.”
Blanche: “You wear a negligee, they think you want to sleep with them.”
Dorothy: “Why aren't you arrested more?”

Gloria: “I'm sorry I'm late.”
Dorothy: “Oh, no, I understand. Buses.”

What Do I Look Like, a Cross-Dresser?
Blanche: “You don't know what it's like to have a husband die and leave you with nothin'. Just a closet full of suits that you spend the rest of your lonely life tryin' to get rid of. [looking at Dorothy] What are you, anyway, a 42 regular?”

Reel References
Sophia: “Hurricane supplies, coming through.”
Rose: “What makes you so certain about the storm, Sophia?”
Sophia: “Because I'm old. I know. I've seen everything twice. Except Bonfire of the Vanities. Oof

Golden Quotes
Dorothy: “Ma, what are you doing?”
Sophia: “Filling sandbags, Dorothy. There's a hurricane a-coming.”
Dorothy: “A-coming??”
Sophia: “That's right. People only use the ‘a’ when a really big storm is a-coming or a-brewing. So grab a sack and start a-shoveling.”

Sophia: “Dorothy, when you get around my age, two things happen. One, you get more intuitive about the weather. And two, corn becomes your enemy.”

Rose: “Boy, it's like you people don't pay any attention to me whatsoever.”
Blanche: “Hey, when did you sneak in?”

Dorothy: “Stan, please. She's out of M-O-N-E-Y.”
Stan: “Yeah well, she's not getting mine.”
Dorothy: “She's not out of MONKEY, Stan. She's out of MONEY!”

Stan: “Come on, Dorothy, we better get going. After our session, I have an important dinner meeting with some investors.”
Dorothy: “Oh my God, Stan, you're not taking your monkey, are you?”
Stan: “Please, they are Japanese investors. The last thing I would do would be to offend them. She'll be at a separate table with the other wives.”

Dorothy: “Stan and I went through a period where we had no marital relations at all. I totally cut off his sex.”
Rose: “You mean it grows back??”
Dorothy: “Yes, Rose. He's a lizard.”

Dorothy: “All right, leaving your husbands out of this, haven't you ever been glad when one of your relationships ended? Rose, how about that guy you dated last summer? Don't you remember? The one who played Goofy at Disney World.”
Rose: “I remember the passion, yes.”
Dorothy: “Do you remember why it didn't work out?”
Rose: “It just didn't.”
Dorothy: “Right. But why not?”
Rose: “I don't wanna talk about it.”
Blanche: “Oh, Rose, honey, there's nothin' to be ashamed of.”
Rose: “He took off the Goofy head.”

As a kid who grew up wanting to be a weatherman, there’s no way in hell no one in Miami wouldn’t of known that there was a hurricane a-comin’. But I think we’ve all come to accept the fact that a show about 4 seniors sharing a house in Miami actually isn’t the most accurate television progrim of all time. But I digress. I live for two things about the first part of this two part episode: Fifi and Sophia’s “Take Me Hurricane ‘91” shirt. When Stan shows up with a stuffed monkey wrapped around a traffic cone it’s nothing but sheer hilarity. And the fact that Rose keeps insisting on how good-looking it is just the icing on the cake. As funny as some elements of this two-parter is, let’s be honest, the stuff with Gloria is sort of a snooze. I mean it’s funny to see Dorothy be such a bitch about Gloria losing her money, but I don’t really care much for this sibling. Of course as Gloria, Dena Dietrich looks the part – she’s just as much of a redwood as Dorothy is. But usually when I watch this episode I can’t wait to get to the silly stuff involving the telethon in the second part...  GRADE: B