Friday, December 29, 2017

The President's Coming! The President's Coming! S5E25

Synopsis: A Secret Service agent interviews the girls to see if their home would be a good stop for President George H. W. Bush to make on his way through Miami.

90s Flashback
Stan: “Inside this box is my best novelty yet, not to mention the perfect tie-in to the President's visit. Ladies the George Bush point of light on a stick.”
“You know, Dorothy, every now and then it dawns on me you had children with this man.”
Dorothy: “Stanley, get out.”
Stan: “Wait. Please. I just took a bath on those Daniel Ortega buttons that say "four more years.'”

Crazy Continuity
Dorothy: “I'm a member of the Sierra Club, and Blanche belongs to the Daughters of the Confederacy.”
Um, let's not forget that in Season 6 Blanche tries to become part of the Daughters of the Old South but gets rejected cause she's a Feldman dammit.

Let’s Get Political
Agent Bell: “We had to run security clearances on everyone. Everyone passed except for you, Mrs.
Sophia:“I can't believe it! I spend one lousy night with Mussolini - and I do mean lousy - and I'm marked for life.”

St. Olaf Vocab
flugelkaka – A Scandinavian hors d'oeuvre

That’s What She Said
Dorothy: “When he comes through that door, I am ready for him.”

Take Me Out to the Ballgame, Stanley
Rose: “Oh, Dorothy, you're not gonna make a scene, are you?”
Dorothy: “Oh, hey, come on. Give me a little credit. I mean, it's not like I'm some kind of hothead.”
Sophia: “Please! I'd put you about even with John McEnroe. Except McEnroe knows when to stop.”

Animal Alert
Rose: “This is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me.”
Dorothy: “More exciting than winning the annual St. Olaf me-and-my-pet look-alike contest?”
Rose: “Yes. But mostly because I don't have to swim with a duck in my mouth.”

Lewd Ladies
Agent Bell: “So let's see if I've got this straight. You and this Max Weinstock were-”
Sophia: “Getting it on.”
Agent Bell: “Thank you.”
Sophia: “If you write that down, make it three times a night. He'd like that. And send me a copy.

Zbornak Zingers
Rose: “I want the President to feel welcome, so I'm making him a sign. It's gonna say 'Welcome, President Bush. We are pleased to have you in our home. We're really thrilled that you're visiting Miami. We hope you have a good time and a safe trip home, and good luck on running the country.'”
Dorothy: "It's catchy, Rose.”

Insult Watch
Sophia: “I can't believe he bought it.”
Rose: “What do you mean, Sophia? We get along great.”
Sophia: “He's got no idea what it's like living with you monkeys.”

Product Placement
Agent Bell: “The President wants to stop at one house on his way to dedicate the senior citizens' center.”
Sophia: “Why he can't he use the Arco station like everyone else??”

Sassy Sophia
“Pussycat, if you're writing to your brother Phil, tell him I said thanks for the Underoos. And Spider-Man scared the hell out of my doctor.”

Back in St. Olaf
Agent Bell: “Now, our records show that you come from a town called St. Olaf. You wanna tell me about it? Mrs. Nylund, are you all right?”
Rose: “It's just that nobody's ever asked before….”

Rose: “Then there was the time Hans Erikson wanted to take an elk to the prom. The whole town was divided on that one….”

Best of B.E.D.
Blanche: “It's a real pleasure, Mr. President. My! You do have a lot of Secret Service men, don't you?”
Secret Service men [in unison]: “Hi, Blanche.”
Blanche: “Hi, fellas!”

Sweet, Single-Digit-IQ Rose
Sophia: “Pussycat, are you doing the grocery shopping today?”
Dorothy: “Yeah. Something you want?”
Sophia: “Uh, pick up a couple of chicken breasts, and why don't we say 40 better make that 45 tubes of sunscreen.”
Rose: “Oh, Sophia, I've made that mistake before. The best thing to do is just turn the oven down if you don't want the chicken to burn.”

What, We Can't Learn From History?
Blanche: “What's your gripe with the President, anyway?”
Dorothy: “He calls himself the 'education president,' but our education system has some serious problems. I see the illiteracy, I see dropouts, I see kids who can't even find India on a map.”
Rose: “Well, to be fair, Dorothy, that stumped Columbus too.”

Golden Quotes
Dorothy: “There's a man on our lawn.”
Blanche: “Get the net!”

Agent Bell: “If you don't mind, I'll start with Mrs. Devereaux.”
Dorothy: “Fine. We'll just be waiting in he kitchen.”
Rose: “Not making fun of the Vice President.”

Agent Bell: “Well, I guess you know why I'm here.”
Rose: “Sure. Nobody can leave after just one helping of flugelkaka.”
Agent Bell: “No, ma'am. And don't even kid about that.”

Rose: “I'm a member of the Otto Club of St. Olaf. Actually I'm an honorary member. My name's not Otto.”
Agent Bell: “I don't think that group could be considered subversive.”
Rose: “Subversive?”
Agent Bell: “You know, as in, 'Do you advocate the overthrow of the government by force or violence?'”
Rose: “Violence.”
Dorothy: “Rose!!”

Rose: “I can't believe I'm gonna meet the President of the United States. Oh, if I say something stupid, I'll die.”
Sophia: “Can we make a donation in lieu of flowers?”

Rose: “Hello, Mr. President. Can I ask you something?”
President Bush: “Why, sure.”
Rose: “Is the Oval Office as hard to vacuum as I think it is?”
President Bush: “Well, I don't know. There hasn't been a Hoover in the White House in, oh, 60 years.”

If there's anything worse than a clip show, it's a clip show posing as the Season Finale. Really? As if viewers couldn't remember all the shenanigans the girls had been up to for the past five years. I get it I get it. This was before we could all play whatever episode we wanted at the click of a mouse or with the tap of the finger but it's still lazy lazy lazy. Sure all the clips are great, but it's just filler. This is one of the more preposterous clip show storylines (though not as crazy as season 6's story about Sophia burning down Shady Pines, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it). A few things worth mentioning. Anyone else notice that weird edit after Agent Bells says that there are four senior citizens living in the house? It's as if they cut out a Blanche reaction. I've always wondered if that was part of the original broadcast. I do like the Point of Light on a Stick bit. And Dorothy's eventual confrontation with Bush is actually pretty funny if somewhat corny and anticlimactic. Lastly, the entire second part of the episode is basically a rehash of the Sophia's Wedding episode. Lazy, Lazy, Lazy. Muffin? See you next year for Season Six. GRADE: B-

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