Synopsis:
Dorothy and Stan plan their wedding while Sophia still doesn’t approve; Rose
confronts her friend’s crazy ex-wife; the girls welcome Truby to replace
Dorothy as their roommate.
Musical Moments
Stan: “Dorothy, I vow to you that my
love is pure.”
Dorothy: “I do vow too.”
Stan: “I vow that my love is strong.”
Dorothy: “I do vow too.”
Stan: “I vow that I will love no
other.”
Dorothy: “I do—My God, Stanley, I
feel like one of the Shirelles!”
That’s What She Said
Sophia: “Dorothy, I guess we're
sleeping together tonight.”
Animal Alert
Rose: “Oh, Dorothy, push the
doorbell. “
Dorothy: “The door's open.”
Rose: “I know, but push it anyway.”
[sounds of dogs barking]
Dorothy: “This is really amazing,
Rose. You know, just the other day I was thinking, Why doesn't our doorbell bark?”
Shady Pines, Ma
Rose: “I don't want your husband. I
never did.”
Myra: “I understand that now. I
think I was just afraid of starting all over at my age. My daughter's checking
me into a lovely retirement home called Shady Pines.”
Sophia: “That's great. Come out to
the lanai, I'll give you the lowdown on Shady Pines. You know, who does what
for cigarettes.”
Lewd Ladies
Sophia: “You know, Pussycat, we
never had that mother/daughter talk about sex.”
Dorothy: “Ma, I've had sex more
years than I care to think about.”
Sophia: “I know. I think you're
doing it wrong.”
Brooklyn: A Fairy Land
Dorothy: “Oh when Stan and I were married,
Stan was crying, I was crying, Ma was crying. All for different reasons, but if
you didn't know us, it looked touching.”
Zbornak Zingers
Truby: “My husband passed just last
summer.”
Rose: “Passed what?”
Dorothy: “A slow-moving Winnebago,
Rose.”
Insult Watch
Sophia: “Dorothy, he's perfect for
you. He knows your shoe size and he doesn't care.”
Rose: “The mind is a powerful thing.”
Dorothy: “Think of the 99% you don't
use.”
Product Placement
Sophia: “I'm not living with you and
Stan.”
Dorothy: “Yes, you are, Ma. I want
you with us, and besides, you can't afford to live alone.”
Sophia: “Blanche is letting me keep
my room, and I have an interview at McDonald's today. If I can see over the
counter, I'm their new fry girl.”
Sassy Sophia
Sophia: “Stop! As God as my witness
and in front of this entire congregation, I call an end to this wedding here
and now!”
Blanche: “Sophia, this is only the
rehearsal.”
Sophia: “It is? Pretend you didn't
hear that. I'll see you tomorrow.”
Back in St. Olaf
Blanche: “Rose, what happened?”
Rose: “My brakes went out, and the
car wouldn't stop. My whole life flashed before my eyes and the Nuderflaken
twins played a bigger part than I had realized.”
Blanche: “That must've been awful.”
Rose: “Oh it was. I don't know any
Nuderflaken twins.”
Truby: “Ah, great day for a wedding.
Say, who tied those dead fish to the back of the car?”
Rose: “It's a St. Olaf tradition. You
drive until you can't stand the smell and then that's where you live.”
Truby: “Crazy or stupid?”
Blanche: “We think it's a mix.”
Rose: “Let me tell you about a
lesson that I learned when I was a little girl in St. Olaf. If you hold a bird
gently, the bird will stay. But if you squeeze the bird, his eyes will bug out
and Mr. Pet Shop Owner gets very huffy and he won't let you touch the birds
anymore. And the mice? He won't even let—”
Blanche: “Rose!! What is eight times
six? OK, now that we have a few minutes… I think Rose made two very good
points. One: Not all psychotics are dangerous. And two: Honey, you have to let
go. Dorothy's capable of making her own decisions. Does any of this make any
sense to you, Sophia?”
Sophia: “Not completely. I still
think Rose has the capacity to kill.”
Blanche: “Oh, Rose. Sorry, honey. Pencils
down.”
Rose: “I could've used a pencil!?”
Rose: “My wedding was outdoors. February
12th. I'll never forget it. I wore the most beautiful white flannel wedding
gown. It even had feet sewn in.”
Best of B.E.D.
Blanche: “You know, this reminds me
of the day I married George. Oh, it was an exquisite wedding.
Five hundred people in that big, old
church and I didn't have any underwear on.”
Dorothy: “Why?”
Blanche: “I just felt it was the
right thing to do.”
Sweet, Single-Digit-IQ Rose
Blanche: “Rose, you’ve got to
disconnect those stupid dogs.”
Rose: “But it’s working. And besides,
I’ve already named them.”
From Feud to Food
Sophia: “Alright. You've got a
second chance. But if you hurt my daughter again, I'll make you miserable for
the rest of my life. And if I lay off meat and dairy, that could be as much as
five years.”
Dorothy Zbornak is My Spirit Animal
Dorothy: “God, this has always been
my worst nightmare.”
Truby: “A wedding falling apart at
the last minute?”
Dorothy: “No, going on a honeymoon
with my mother.”
Reel References
Wedding coordinator: “OK, places!
Dah-dah-dah! Duh, duh, duh-dum Dum, dum duh-dum [To Dorothy] Remember, teeny steps. We're not
Godzilla attacking the city.”
Golden Quotes
Blanche: “It's late. Why didn't
somebody wake me up?”
Sophia: “Because the last time I
walked into your bedroom unannounced, some guy missed the trampoline and almost
killed me.”
Rose: “I stopped at a gas station
and they were nice enough to give me a ride home. Oh, by the way, Chuck says, ‘Yo.’”
Blanche: “Chuck from Arco or Chuck
from Shell?”
Rose: “Shell.”
Blanche: “Big Chuck from Shell or
Little Chuck from Shell?”
Dorothy: “Blanche, I think you're
spending too much time at the full-service island.”
Rose: “I'm afraid to open it. What
if it's from Myra?”
Dorothy: “Oh, come on, Rose.”
Rose: “Well what if it's got a
deadly black spider in it that's gonna leap out and bite me the minute I open
it?”
[Dorothy stomps over letter]
Dorothy: “There you are.”
Rose: “You're wise. Ya just wise.”
Dorothy: “You've already turned down
about 12 people. They're either too thin or too pretty or too young. It's as
though you only wanna live with a woman who has absolutely no sex appeal
whatsoever.”
Rose: “You think we're dogs, don't
you?”
[barking doorbell rings]
Blanche: “Now that's too eerie.”
Sophia: “The dogs are on my tail
again! Through the river! Run through the river!”
Dorothy: “Oh Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma, we've
just put in a new bell. It's to scare people.”
Sophia: “It'll never work.”
Truby: “I always get nervous at
weddings. Weddings and funerals. I've been to so many of both that I get
mixed-up. Same guest list, same flowers, handful of rice, handful of dirt. The
only difference is, after the funeral it's OK to date.”
Blanche: “I'm beginning to like her.”
Rose: “If it's any consolation,
Dorothy, I think what there was of your wedding was very beautiful. And the
album won't be as bad as you think. I mean the photographer got some great
shots of your friends leaving with their gifts.”
Blanche: “Truby, honey, we have to
talk. I know you signed a lease, but, well, considering Dorothy's tragic
misfortune.”
Truby: “I know, I know, but could I
just stay a couple of days? I can't stand another minute at a hotel.”
Blanche: “I know what you mean. If I
have to come up with one more fake name.”
Dorothy: “Ma, I have a better idea. In
my suitcase there are two tickets to Aruba. I think Stan owes us a little
vacation, don't you?”
Sophia: “Aruba?! I love Aruba! Where's
Aruba?”
Critique:
Surprise! Like anyone thought
Dorothy would actually end up married to Stan. He’s a yutz. Ok let’s move on to
some burning questions. I wonder how long Rose and Charlie drove before they
couldn’t stand the stench? I mean in past episodes (like when they play
Googenspritzer) Rose says there’s only one street in St. Olaf. I assume the
stench was REALLY horrible. Moving on. Did Sophia ever end up getting the job
at McDonald’s? I mean she does have relevant work experience from her days at Pecos
Pete’s Chow Wagon. And speaking of which…. Does Myra look familiar? She’s also
Edna in “Blanche’s Little Girl”…. And Candi
in “Nothing to Fear But Fear Itself” and another upcoming episode. They must of really liked Meg Wyllie’s spunk.
She was the rare guest star to show up four times. Anywho, I just have to
stress how much I love this two parter. There are so many great, classic lines
(including the well-known “Chuck says Yo” exchange). Debbie Reynolds makes a
memorable appearance as Dorothy’s replacement. They should of just gotten her
for the 8th season of The GG. Anyone got a DeLorean lying around?
GRADE: A