Thursday, January 10, 2019

The Case of the Libertine Belle S7E2


Synopsis: The girls take part in a murder mystery weekend and Blanche becomes the prime suspect when she’s accused of killing her boss.

90s Flashback
Dorothy: “Morning, Ma. How'd you sleep?”
Sophia: “Pretty good. I dreamed I was makin’ love to Jay Leno.”
Dorothy: “That's a strange dream for you to have.”
Sophia: “Not really. It was Monday night and he was filling in for Carson.”

Crazy Continuity
Keen observers will notice the dress Gloria wears is the same one Rose wears during the dance marathon and the same dress the woman from the Daughters of the Old South is wearing in “Witness.”
And, in fact, this is the second time Richard Roat, who plays Kendall here, played a dead man on the show: he was also Al Beatty the man who Rose slept with and then died in her bed.

That’s What She Said
Posey McGlinn: “Dorothy Zbornak, you've stuck your nose in for the last time!”

Take Me Out to the Ballgame, Stanley
Spade Marlowe: “Well, there you have it, ladies and gentlemen: the who, how, and why.”
Rose: “Dorothy, that was a real Tour de France!”
Dorothy: “Thank you, thank you, Rose.”

Lewd Ladies
Blanche: “I think I got to him, don't you?”
Dorothy: “Your eyes are as good as rolled back.”

Zbornak Zingers
Blanche: “If I got this job, it would mean going to Europe with him to look for rare paintings and antiques.”
Sophia: “Well, if he has an eye for antiques, you should be a shoo-in.”
Dorothy: “Look who's calling the vase Ming.”

Product Placement
Posey McGlinn: “She rushed up to the room. She tore off her clothes.”
Sophia: “That's Velcro. It just gives the illusion of a tear.”

Sassy Sophia
Sophia: “Oh, come on, pussycat. You figured out that mystery at dinner.”
Dorothy: “Oh Ma, that was a game. This is life!”
Sophia: “Oh, that's right. You've never been good at life.”

Back in St. Olaf
Rose: “You know, back in Minnesota, I was known as the Sherlock Holmes of St.
Olaf.”
Dorothy: “Figured out which one was Shinola, did you, Rose?”
Rose: “The hard way.”

Best of B.E.D.
Lt Alvarez: “Ms. Devereaux and this dead guy had the only two keys. Forensics say that the cause of death was a stab wound inflicted by a steak knife. We know Ms. Devereaux had steak for dinner. Given these facts, unless somebody has something else, we got enough to make an arrest.”
Blanche: “My, my, Mr. Officer. I do declare, your sweet words could charm the mornin' dew right off the honeysuckle.”
Dorothy: “Blanche, not now.”
Blanche: “If not now, when?”

Sweet, Single-Digit-IQ Rose
Dorothy: “Now, girls, remember, look everyone over very carefully. Try to figure out who are the real guests and who are actors pretending to be guests. It'll help when it comes to solving the mysteries.”
Rose: “Okay, Dorothy… if that's your real name.”

Spade Marlowe: “...I am determined, with your help, to solve these crimes and bring the murderer to justice.”
Rose: “Maybe that bloody dagger will lead us to the murder weapon.”
Spade Marlowe: “St. Olaf??”
Rose: “Boy, he is good!”

Spade Marlowe: “Undoubtedly the weapon used to kill Mrs. Forsythe, but obviously her husband was shot.”
Rose: “Then there must be a gun!”
Spade Marlowe: “South side?”
Rose: “Uncanny!”

Vaczy: “He's dead, all right. Steak knife right through the heart.”
Rose: “That must be what killed him.”
Vaczy: “St. Olaf?”
Rose: “It's like I'm wearing a sign.”

Dorothy: “You're not helping, Rose. It's almost as though you believe Blanche is guilty.”
Rose: “Well, she lied about my earrings, and she took them. I mean, deceit, then theft. Isn't murder the next logical step?”
Dorothy: “St. Olaf, right?”

Until the Buffalo Pooped…
Rose: “When do you think the mysteries are gonna start?”
Sophia: “You want a mystery? You shoulda tried the pink dressing at the salad bar… Oh, jeez, the mystery continues.”

From Feud to Food
Blanche: “If they put me in prison, I'll be brave. I can handle it.”
Rose: “Blanche, you don't understand. They'll put you in a women's prison.”
Blanche [gasping]: “Don't let me go, Dorothy! Don't let me go!”
Dorothy: “Honey, you are not going to go because you are not guilty.”
Rose: “I understand you can have anything for your last meal. Just ice cream, if you want.”

Dorothy Zbornak is My Spirit Animal
Sophia: “What the heck. I'll go, too.”
Dorothy: “Yeah, like you had a choice.”

Kendall Nesbit: “I have a feeling we're in for a weekend none of us is going to forget.”
Blanche: “Oh, I do declare, your sweet words could charm the mornin' dew right off of the honeysuckle.”
Dorothy: “That was good, Blanche. Now, do Br'er Rabbit.”

Literary Intelligentsia
Blanche: “Is there any chance I could persuade you girls to join me for a murder-mystery weekend?”
Dorothy: “Blanche, are you kidding? I have read every word Dashiell Hammett and Raymond Chandler ever wrote. Sam Spade and Philip Marlowe have become a part of me. ‘She had more curves than the Monaco Grand Prix and was twice as dangerous. Her jewelry was mute testimony that Charlie Chaplin wasn't the only tramp who hit it big in this town.’”
Sophia: “You do this on first dates, don't you, Dorothy?”

Golden Quotes
Blanche: “I need three more people to get the group rate at the hotel.”
Sophia: “I thought hotels always gave you the group rate.”
Rose: “Yeah, sweetheart, but this is for the whole night.”

Blanche: “Kendall is sitting down with Posey McGlinn! She is my main rival for that assistant's job. Oh, look at the shameless way she's flirtin' with him. Disgustin'!”
Rose: “You flirted with him.”
Blanche: “I'm from the South. Flirting is part of my heritage.”
Rose: “What do you mean?”
Dorothy: “Her mother was a slut too.”

Spade Marlowe: “Ladies and gentlemen, you now have enough clues to solve these murders. Who did it, how and why?”
Rose: “The butler did it!”
Maitre d’: “I'm a maitre d'.”
Rose: “Thank you. The maitre d' did it!”
Man: “Philip did it!”
Woman: “Gloria did it!”
Sophia: “It was Colonel Mustard in the library with the candlestick…. Oh, she says, ‘The butler did it,’ and I'm the idiot??”

Dorothy [standing up]: “PERHAPS… but they are both murderers.”
Sophia: “Sit down, Dorothy. Don't make a fool of yourself.”
Spade Marlowe: “Care to explain?”
Dorothy: “In the first place, it is unlikely that Gloria murdered her father. Statistics show that patricide is overwhelmingly a male crime. Although daughters frequently murder THEIR MOTHERS!!”

Gloria [referring to Dorothy]: “This woman's pathetic!”
Sophia: “Oh, big news. Tear out the front page!”

Posey McGlinn: “That tramp murdered my lover!”
Dorothy: “I know Blanche Devereaux, Lieutenant, and this tramp is incapable of committing murder.”

Dorothy: “I think I see now how it happened. Last evening, at dinner, when Miss McGlinn saw Blanche give Kendall Nesbitt her key, she was furious. She dropped a steak knife into her purse-”
Sophia: “Big deal, I took a whole place setting.”
Dorothy: “NOT NOW MA!”

Blanche: “Damn it, I just hate to be the brunt of jokes.”
Dorothy: “Funny, you don't mind being the brunt of limericks.”
Blanche: “That's different. That's poetry.”

Sophia: “So this was all a mockery, a sham. No crimes were committed at all. What a load of fun. [Trying to pick up her purse] Pussycat, help me carry my purse to the car.”

Critique: Why did almost every sitcom have a murder mystery episode? Golden Girls. Saved by the Bell. Family Matters. The Office. It’s apparently all the rage. Having said that, ask any GG fan and they’ll tell you this is one of the their all time favorite episodes if not their number one. And that’s because it really is one of the flat-out funniest episodes of the entire series… if you’re already a fan of the show. Show it to a newcomer who doesn’t really know the characters and it just sort of falls flat (like the running St. Olaf?? joke). Like I’ve said before, by this point the four actresses were really into the grove, even if Bea Arthur was sort of going through the motions. The jokes relied heavily on knowing the characters inside and out. The episode is a little “inside baseball” if you’ll pardon the metaphor. Oh sorry Rose! But back to the task at hand. Is this not the most freaking quotable GG episode of all time?? It’s almost to the point where the lines are repeated by fans so often (“Not now Ma!” or “Her mother was a slut too”) that they almost aren’t even funny anymore. Just kidding they are. We all know how great this episode is, but the thing I love about it (besides the name POSEY McGLINN) is how utterly ridiculous and preposterous the entire murder plot involving Blanche really is. For instance, the detective assumes that Blanche must of killed Kendall because the murder weapon was a steak knife and she had stake for dinner. As if she couldn’t have stabbed someone to death if she didn’t have steak? And who questions murder suspects in front of a room full of people? And at what point exactly did Rose spray Sophia’s mirror with defogger? And most importantly what WAS the pink salad dressing at dinner?? GRADE: A

1 comment:

  1. Yes, my fav �� The defogger always killed me, why would they know Sophia’s hand mirror would be used to check breath?! And how did they know she even HAD one?!?! ������

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