Synopsis: Sophia
feels lonely so Dorothy invites her along on outings with her
boyfriend, but then she begins to get too clingy; Blanche runs for
fashion show chairman.
80s Flashback
Rose: “Are you
still upset because your friend Bernice moved back to Chicago?”
Sophia: “No Rose,
I’m upset because I can’t relate to ‘thirtysomething.’”
Musical Moments
Sophia begins
singing “The Banana Boat Song (Day Oh)” when she thinks she’s
going to the Bahamas with Dorothy and Raymond.
Let’s Get
Political
Blanche, referring
to the woman who won the fashion show chairman election, “She
promised everyone a discount on liposuction. Two cheeks for the price
of one.”
Dorothy: “That’s
what swung it for Nixon in ’68.”
St. Olaf Vocab
Sonja Klingenhoffer
– a popular St. Olaf comic strip
That’s What She
Said
Dorothy: “Ma, how
long were you listening at the door?”
Sophia: “I wasn’t
listening at the door.”
Dorothy: “Oh? Then
why was your face pressed against the crack?”
Picture It
Sophia: “Picture
it: Sicily, 1921. A beautiful young peasant girl saves her lira and
takes a trip to Paris, the city of lights, also the only place a guy
can wear a cape without getting a lot of funny looks. She wanders
into a restaurant and ends up sharing a table with a dashing young
Frenchman. They drink, they talk, they burn a cork, and draw
mustaches on each other.”
Raymond: “What?”
Sophia: “Just
wanted to see if you were listening. Anyway, the next thing she
knows, it's hours later, the place is empty, and the Frenchman's got
his schnoz down her blouse. This begins a beautiful love affair.
Kids, I was that peasant girl, and the schnoz was Charles the Mole.
Raymond: “Charles
the Mole?”
Sophia: “Yeah,
Charles the Mole. He was the wheel man for Louie the Ice Pick.”
Dorothy: “Ma, you
said Charles de Gaulle.”
Sophia: “Yeah,
right, I slept with Charles de Gaulle. I could've been the first lady
of France, but I married your father instead, a man who cleans his
toenails with a shrimp fork.”
Zbornak Zingers
Dorothy: “Rose,
honey, I hope you don’t mind, I borrowed your golf gloves, I have a
date to play this morning.”
Blanche: “With a
man??”
Dorothy: “No
Blanche, with a Venus flytrap.”
Lewd Ladies
Blanche: “What do
you do when you and Raymond wanna, you know, make love? How do you
handle it?”
Rose: “Yeah,
Dorothy, how do you handle it?”
Dorothy: “Handle
it? I can't even get close to it!”
Insult Watch
Dorothy:
“Okay girls, which goes better, the silver chain or the pearls?”
Rose:
“The chain.”
Blanche:
“An amateur's mistake. Can't you see that the chain accentuates the
many folds of that turkey-like neck?”
Rose:
“Well that may be, but the pearls draw attention to the
non-existent bosom.”
Product Placement
Sophia: “I swear
on your father’s grave. Or what used to be your father’s grave.
Now it’s a Wienerschnitzel.”
Sassy Sophia
Sophia: “Hey, hey
give it a rest Raymond; you’re in her mouth more than her dentist.”
Back in St. Olaf
Sophia: “It's not
that easy to make new friends.”
Rose: “It sure
wasn't for the first Eskimo family that moved to St. Olaf. Especially
after they sawed a hole and went salmon fishing in the middle of the
local ice skating rink. And then there was the Halloween they gave
all the kids whale blubber. And then there was the time they borrowed
every ice tray in town to build an addition over their garage…
Well, gradually they were able to make friends, and they ended up the
most popular family in town.”
Blanche: “But only
because they went out and met people. Isn't that right, Rose?”
Rose: “No. It was
because in the drought of '49, their house melted and kept the town
from dehydrating.”
Take Me Out to the
Ballgame, Stanley
Rose: “You're
dumping your own mother??”
Dorothy: “Faster
than CBS dumped Jimmy the Greek.”
The Boob Tube
Rose: “You know,
with all the work I put in on this campaign, I might as well run for
fashion show chairman myself.”
Blanche: “Rose,
you can't be fashion show chairman. Why, you thought Giorgio Armani
was a puppet on Ed Sullivan.”
Reel References
Blanche: “Oh
girls, I just had the most disturbing dream. I was stranded on a
desert island with Tom Selleck, Ted Danson, and Steven Guttenberg.
Three men and no baby...”
Golden Quotes
Dorothy: “Why
don’t I just wear a sign that says Too Ugly to Live?”
Blanche: “Fine,
but what are you gonna hang it from, the chain or the pearls?”
Dorothy: “Neither!
I’m gonna spray paint it on my hump!!”
Blanche: “I'm gonna win.”
Rose: “ Well I don't see how that's possible. Everybody on the committee is female. Who are you gonna sleep with?”
Blanche: “Are you insinuating that I cannot win it on merit alone? All women??”
Critique: This remains a very
solid episode with the real highlight being the insults being chucked
at Dorothy throughout. That's why I sort of prefer Rose and Blanche's
B-story about running for fashion show chair. Though it’s nice to
see Sophia getting more of a legitimate storyline even if it has to
do with her being a clingy old nuisance. As a bonus, we get two St.
Olaf stories. As a side note, something that this episode brings up
that I’ve always wondered is how long exactly does it take an old
woman in her 80s to play a round of golf? Cue the Titanic meme “It's
been 84 years...” GRADE: B+
f
ReplyDeleteLike most categories of golf equipment, loosely speaking there’s entry level, mid-point and premium models. So far as gloves are concerned, you might be just fine with a value option if you’re not a regular player. apparelly.co.uk
ReplyDeleteThe "That's what the crow said!" / "GET OUT!" moment is a classic.
ReplyDelete