Synopsis: Rose’s boyfriend Al retires and wants to sail around the world with her. Meanwhile, the girls have trouble turning their garage into a guest room.
Dorothy: “If you walk out that door you can forget about ever coming back. I sound like I’m on ‘Ryan’s Hope.’”
St. Olaf Vocab
Sperhooven krispies – An ancient Scandinavian midnight snack. They’re done when you’re about to throw up from the stench. To enjoy them properly you have to hold your nose with one hand and eat them with the other. They allegedly taste like cheesecake, fresh strawberries, and chocolate ice cream.
Blanche tells Sophia that a woman is at her sexual peak at age 33. But in the very next episode, Blanche claims that a woman in her 40s is at her sexual peak.
Also, Dorothy says she loves champagne, but in “Nothing to Fear But Fear Itself” on the plane she says she doesn't like champagne.
That’s What She Said
Ernie, the contractor: “Mrs. Devereaux, do you want it fast or do you want it good?”
Sophia, translating Vincenzo’s Italian: “Dorothy, you’ll hold the window in place, Rose will do the hammering, Blanche you’ll do the screwing. And he came up with that one on his own I swear.”
Sophia: “Picture it: Sicily 1939. The war is on. A promising young architect is offered a job to spearhead construction of a new wing at the Vatican… The young man is torn. Taking the train to Rome means running the risk of enemy bombs. But staying home means passing up a chance to make history! In the end, he chooses safety. It's a decision he still regrets half a century later. His conclusion: Life without risk is no life at all.”
Blanche, to Rose: “You upset because you still don't know what to do about Al?”
Dorothy: “No Blanche, she's upset because Jimmy Swaggart can't cover his motel bill.”
Ernie the contractor, to Dorothy: “A good-looking lady like that sleeps alone, I’m shocked.”
Sophia: “You’re letting a man with taste like that remodel our garage?!”
Sophia, upon seeing the girls holding their noses: “Hey, give me a break you can’t smell that from the hall.”
Best of B.E.D.
Sophia, translating Vincenzo: “Drill a toggle bolt, anchor with a 5/16th bit, and miter-cut the quarter-inch plywood after you attach the studs.”
Blanche: “The only thing in there I recognized was studs.”
Back in St. Olaf
Blanche: “Rose, haven't you ever done anything just wild and crazy and impetuous?”
Rose: “No. I'm from St. Olaf. We're forced to sign a pledge when we're 15 that we won't do any of those things.It keeps people from painting their houses silly colors.”
Take Me Out to the Ballgame, Stanley
Sophia: “In Sicily, every region has its own dialect. Actually, every town has its own dialect. Actually, every household has its own dialect. This also explains why the Italian army is as effective as a Jamaican bobsled team.”
The Boob Tube
Rose: “Al, we have to talk.”
Al: “Can't it wait till after Moonlighting? There's a special episode on tonight. It's only been rerun three times.”
Sophia: “Here they are, Dorothy. Vincenzo's new work crew.”
Dorothy: “It looks like the road company of 'Cocoon.'”
Sophia, translating: “Before we begin, let’s make one thing clear: I am in charge. I am the boss. I am the master. I am the walrus.”
Dorothy: “Ma, either your Italian is rusty or he’s the world’s oldest hippie.”
Blanche: “I love champagne.”
Dorothy: “Me too, the only problem is after a few glasses I’ll kiss any man in sight.”
Crewman: “Man overboard!”
Blanche: “That was just a coincidence Dorothy.”
Critique: This is an extremely funny episode filled with great lines (“He thinks I'm neater than hard salami!”). The two storylines don’t quite connect in any real meaningful way but they each have their merits. Most of the humor comes from the Italian man they hire to remodel the garage. The line about Dorothy kissing any man in sight after drinking champagne and the instant splash sound is impeccably timed and Sophia teasing Dorothy about a man wanting to sail around the world with her is hilarious. Also, in a classic GG scene, Rose shows the girls how to eat Sperhooven krispies (“Rose if these had been offered to the Donner party they still would have eaten each other.”). Good stuff here. And lastly, did any one else notice all the references to barrels in this episode? GRADE: A-