Synopsis: Dorothy begins dating Sophia's doctor Elliot Clayton, but drama ensues when he hits on Blanche and Dorothy refuses to believe her.
Blanche: “You're just about the most attractive man I've seen in Florida since Mr. John Forsythe performed Hamlet at The Burt Reynolds Dinner Theater.”
That’s What She Said
Rose: “I'm like my father's tractor, I take a while to warm up but once I get going I can turn your topsoil until the cows come home.”
Dorothy: “Wait a minute, now just where do you think you're going?”
Sophia: “Over to Mildred's to watch the Adult Movie Channel. She has a wide-screen TV.”
Sophia tells the story about her and her best friend who shared a pizza recipe and a dream but their friendship was ruined when they meet a fast-talking pepperoni salesman. It turns out her friend became her eventual rival and is now known as Mama Celeste.
Rose: “Blanche and I were just having some coffee would you care to join us?”
Dorothy: “Frankly, Rose, I would rather use Willie Nelson's hairbrush.”
Blanche: “Dorothy, you and Elliot have been out almost every night this week. He's obviously hooked. You don't have to look good anymore. What you have on is fine.”
Tales from the Old South
Blanche tells a story about how she lost her friend Anderbeau Johnson and her beau Clayton, “I lost Anderbeau and her beau.” And Rose responds with, “I don't even know who Anderbobo is.”
Sophia: “Rose, one of those girls was me. The other you probably know as Mama Celeste.”
Rose: “What's the matter, Sophia? You couldn't sleep, either?”
Sophia: “No, I was sleeping great, Rose. I just wanted to show off my pajamas.”
Back in St. Olaf
Rose says that back in Minnesota her family and her animals shared the same doctor but stopped once he started drinking hog liniment and tried to neuter the Swenson brothers.
Best of B.E.D.
Blanche: “Even my husband didn’t believe me on my wedding night when I told him he was the first.”
Blanche: “Elliot made… Eliot made...”
Dorothy: “What did Elliot make? A ship in a bottle, what!?”
Rose: “Can you let that happen to little Mei Ling, hasn't she suffered enough?”
Critique: I've always found the episodes where the girls become antagonistic towards each other to be some of the most fun, and that takes the form of Dorothy and Blanche being at each other’s throats here. Rose finally mentions something about her past in Minnesota, but still doesn't refer to St. Olaf specifically. Dorothy stomping on Rose's foot as she hits on Dr. Clayton is a nice bit of physical humor. The entire scene between Rose and Blanche as they discuss Dorothy's hypothetical future with Elliot and their adopted daughter Mei Ling, is a total standout and a delightful piece of writing (and sort of foreshadows Rose's legendarily strange St. Olaf stories). Even though the focus of the episode is Dorothy and Blanche I find Betty White's performance here particularly strong. The scene where she pretends to seduce Elliot is standout proof of just how good of a range White has as an actress. And we finally get Sophia's first story about Sicily, though she says “picture this” instead of “picture it,” but it is her classic Mama Celeste story. GRADE: B+