Synopsis: After hurting herself doing a six-count Cincinnati riff with a double pullback in dance class, Dorothy finds out she must have foot surgery; Blanche and Rose prepare for their dance recital.
Rose: “Sophia, I don't think it's a good idea to drink in the park.”
Sophia: “Hey, I do it once a month with the girls from the Cloud Society… We stake out a bench, knock a few sherries back, and discuss what we think the clouds look like. One afternoon, I thought I saw Pat Sajak riding sidesaddle on a dolphin.”
Blanche says he has a fear of flying and has never gotten over it, but in a season three episode it's Dorothy who's afraid to fly, not Blanche.
Without Dorothy, Rose and Blanche are “The Tip Tap Trio” but without Dorothy, Rose and Blanche form “The Two Merry Widows.”
That’s What She Said
Dorothy: “I am tired of being probed, poked, and prodded.”
Blanche: “Rose, I have a confession to make. Flying isn't the only thing I'm afraid of. I also have a fear of performing. In front of groups, that is.”
Sophia: “I had my appendix out in a hospital in Sicily. That was rough. They didn't believe in anesthesia back then. They had a nurse hold a pillow over your face so the other patients couldn't hear your screams. You had to pay extra for that.”
Dorothy: “He said I have to have surgery.”
Rose: “Surgery? For what??”
Dorothy: “For kicks, Rose!”
Blanche, to Dorothy: “If you really want to do something for the sake of the act, have one of those two left feet made into a right one.”
Tales from the Old South
Blanche: “Rose, what I didn't tell you was, when I was five, Mama enrolled me in a tap-dancing class. For six months, we practiced. One hour a day, two days a week. And I was good. I was cute and I was good, real good. And then finally, it came time for the night of the recital. And there were 13 little girls up there with our little Shirley Temple curls and our little starched white pinafores and our little Mary Jane shoes.
Then they opened the curtain and the music started and 12 little girls started to dance. And one little girl wet her pants. That girl in the puddle was me.”
Dorothy: “Ma, I love you. Could you fluff up my pillow a little, please?”
Sophia: “What, I look like an orderly? Push the button, wake up a nurse! I'm just here for moral support.”
Best of B.E.D.
Dorothy: “I have a condition called Morton's Neuroma.”
Blanche: “Oh, I think I had that once. But how the heck did you ever catch it in your foot?”
Rose: “Hey, we've all got our sad stories. Look, Blanche, we've practiced for six weeks. We've paid for our costumes, we told everybody we'd be there! Now you're not gonna wimp out on me. You're gonna go to that recital. If you end up in a puddle tonight, well, you'd just better break into 'Singin' in the Rain!'”
Rose: “I guess I get too gung-ho about things. When I was a child, I used to get overexcited and pet the cat too hard.”
Dorothy: “Rose, do a big ugly man with a limp a favor and shut up.”
Critique: So apparently it took 23 hours for Sophia to have Dorothy. But back to the topic at hand, this is a really strong episode, especially considering some of the last few have been rather weak. Bea Arthur's performance here is great. She makes so many great trademarked Dorothy faces; it's gif heaven. The scene where the priest mistakenly gives Dorothy the last rites is hilarious as is the look on her face when Rose and Blanche dance for her. Of course Dorothy, feeling like a damn fool, eventually learns how insignificant her operation is after her hospital roommate, Mrs. Selner from “Mrs Doubtfire,” has to have a double mastectomy. Also, Dorothy punching a hole through Rose's top hat is one of my favorite non-verbal Dorothy moments. GRADE: A-